“How many spunk jokes can you get into one movie?” asked one mildly exasperated punter as we shuffled out of a Southampton Cineworld screening of Sacha Baron Cohen’s latest ramshackle amalgam of cock, ball and bukkake gags on Tuesday night. The answer is: very many indeed, along with endless splashings of monster turds, giant penises, ruptured anuses, dangling scrotums and (in a supremely unfunny but endlessly repeated riff) HIV-infected blood.
Co-writer and star Baron Cohen plays Grimsby native Norman “Nobby” Butcher, a lager-swilling football fan long separated from his brother Sebastian (Mark Strong), who is now a sleek secret service agent. Reunited in the wake of accidental bloodshed, the Butcher boys hole up briefly in their caricatured northern home town before jetting off to South Africa for a showdown with a hotel chambermaid (Gabourey Sidibe), an assortment of hitmen, a herd of randy elephants, and a blocked toilet. Having previously immersed himself in the characters of Borat, Bruno and Ali G, the once mercurial Baron Cohen comes unstuck with his least imaginative comic creation to date; naff of accent (he sounds like he has never been north of Watford), cliched of manner, and unimaginatively Gallagher-esque of hair.
Strong keeps an admirably straight face amid the tidal wave of body fluids and Rebel Wilson makes the most of a thankless role as Nobby’s gung-ho true love, but Penelope Cruz just looks either bored or baffled. As for The Transporter director, Louis Leterrier, he shows little flair for comedy, and is more at home when blowing things up or shooting things down. Some good-natured sentimental schmaltz offsets the endless gross-out gags (pre-cut for a 15 certificate), but this felt like a very long 83 minutes indeed.
