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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
National
Nicole Goodwin & Graeme Murray

Grieving parents heartbroken over fears council could remove baby memorials at cemetery

Grieving parents are heartbroken over fears cherished baby memorials could be removed at a cemetery.

The children and baby garden at the cemetery brings solace and comfort to those who have lost a child.

And families take pride in decorating their child's final resting place with cuddly toys and ornaments.

The memorials at the Gateshead cemetery, however, could be taken away after a sign was erected asking parents to "remove all unauthorised memorial items".

It added that "unauthorised memorials and borders are not permitted" in the baby garden.

Kirsty-Lee Wilkinson, who lost her son Tommy at 22 weeks after his heart stopped, told ChronicleLive: "My son only died four weeks ago and he's only been there for about three weeks.

Rebecca Cawley at the memorial to her baby son Russell Cole Buglass (Craig Connor/ChronicleLive)

"I've spent all that time trying to do his plot up as nice as possible, like all of the others, and then seeing that sign felt like I was losing him all over again. I've felt ill about it and I'm so worried about it.

"I've been reading stories online about it happening in other places and it says the memorials have just been thrown in the bin.

"I've been really worried that the same thing is going to happen to me. It's been quite traumatising."

Baby Tommy was buried in Saltwell Cemetery's baby garden after his mother chose the area because she felt it was a "beautiful" environment.

Kirsty-Lee Wilkinson, Rebecca Cawley, Rebecca Pearson and Charlotte Birdsall at the garden in Saltwell Cemetery, Gateshead (Craig Connor/ChronicleLive)

The 29-year-old from Deckham, Tyne and Wear added: "The only thing that I have of my son now is that baby garden.

"We've paid £500 for the plot, then to be told that we can't have certain things it makes you wonder what you're actually paying for.

"Decorating the plot is the only thing that us bereaved parents can do for our child now. "

Left to right: Rebecca Cawley, Charlotte Birdsall, Kirsty-Lee Wilkinson and Rebecca Pearson at the Baby Garden (Craig Connor/ChronicleLive)
The memorial to Rebecca Cawley's baby son Russell Cole Buglass (Craig Connor/ChronicleLive)

Parents first became concerned about the future of their babies' memorials after spotting a sign fixed to a wooden pole in the baby memorial garden.

It reads: "Gateshead Council are planning on laying new grass in this area. Can you please remove all unauthorised memorial items at your earliest convenience?

"Unauthorised memorials and borders are not permitted."

Kirsty-Lee said: "The poster was literally just tied to a stick in the middle of the baby garden for people to see, even though the council have all of our names and contact details.

"The way it was done just felt so impersonal and insensitive, especially given what we've all been through and the reason why we're there."

Rebecca Pearson with her children Ayla, 6, Logan, 4 and Kenzie, 3 (Craig Connor/ChronicleLive)

Bereaved mum Charlotte Birdsall said: "When I bought the plot the council had already refused me a certain kind of headstone - a cast acrylic headstone - which would have been cheaper.

"But they actually said that the border was fine as long as I didn't put the headstone down.

"We've paid for a plot but we're still being told what we're allowed to do which is quite frustrating because you think 'what am I actually paying for if I can't decorate it how I want to?'"

Charlotte Birdsall at the memorial to her baby son (Craig Connor/ChronicleLive)

Charlotte, 25, lost her son Lee Jnr after his umbilical cord developed a clot because the cord was "too long" for the placenta to get the blood to him.

She paid £411 for her son's plot in June 2019 and with the help of a fundraiser was able to decorate her son's plot in a way that felt special to her.

The 25-year-old said: "We've already been through enough with losing our child, so to then have this added pressure that if the council decide we can't have something, then we can't have it. It's really stressful.

Memorials in the Baby Garden at Saltwell Cemetery, Gateshead (Craig Connor/ChronicleLive)

"I understand that some people don't look after their graves, but that's about 1-2% of the whole baby section and that might be because it's really difficult for them to come down.

"It might be because it's so painful for them to come down and remember what they've been through."

Ashleigh Thompson set up a petition about the memorials and after three days it had received almost 2,500 signatures.

The 38-year-old paid £500 for a plot for her daughter Jess in November 2019 after the two-year-old died after a routine operation.

The memorial to Rebecca Pearson's baby daughter Paisley (Craig Connor/ChronicleLive)

Ashleigh said: "All the parents have been in a panic that the council is going to just come and just take the memorials because they didn't give a date on the notice.

"A couple of the memorials are overgrown, but most are well maintained so it's not fair on parents to cause that panic.

"They've also crammed the babies in too close together.

Gateshead Council said it had recently placed signage in a section of Saltwell Cemetery, politely asking families to remove unauthorised items.

The council said it sympathised with grieving families (Craig Connor/ChronicleLive)

A spokesman said: "This is to enable the maintenance of the site, including grass cutting, reseeding, and the laying of new turf where required.

"While we are sympathetic to the placement of memorial items, they are making it increasingly difficult to access the area with lawnmowers and strimmers, and we want to avoid damaging any ornaments or borders placed around the grave sites.

"They are also causing access issues for visitors with limited mobility."

They added: "We are asking families to remove any memorial items at their earliest convenience, and no deadline for doing so has been applied.

"This does not include the placement of flowers. Gateshead Council will not remove any items without permission."

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