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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
National
Amy Reast

Grieving mum given empty tube by funeral home after going to collect son's ashes

A funeral home has apologised after a mum who went to collect her baby son's ashes was handed an empty tube.

River Carver miscarried her first baby, Tommy, at 16 weeks, and opted to have a ceremony to remember him.

She asked Co-op Funeralcare if there would be any ashes to take home if she opted to have him cremated, due to his tiny size.

River had decided she would have him buried if there were not any ashes - instead, she claims Co-op promised there would be ashes.

The cremation then went ahead a month after Tommy's death, on June 18, 2017.

But, when 24-year-old River went to collect the ashes, she was told there were none, after all, thanks to a heartbreaking mix-up.

The devastated mum-of-two, from Morley, Leeds, filed a formal complaint last year but said she is still brought to tears by the blunder.

River Carver was devastated (River Carver / SWNS)
Tommy's tiny coffin (River Carver / SWNS)

River said: "I knew from the start that I only wanted Tommy to be cremated if there would be ashes.

"I was told there definitely would be - until I turned up to collect the ashes from the hospital and there were none.

"I was heartbroken - I wanted to bring some of him home so he could be here with us. Even now, thinking about it brings me to tears."

A scan had shown Tommy no longer had a heartbeat in June 2017.

The young mum had to give birth to her stillborn son at St James Hospital, Leeds, on June 18.

Devastated River was given the option to hold a funeral for tiny Tommy the following month, which was to be organised by Co-op Funeralcare.

She said in a consultation about the funeral, which took place on July 21, she was asked whether she wished to have her tiny son cremated or buried.

River said: "I wanted to be able to take him home, so I said I only wanted to have him cremated if there would be ashes.

"I was worried there might not be as he was only tiny - so I told them I didn't want to end up with nothing left of him.

"I said I would rather have him buried if there wouldn't be ashes, but the funeral team said there definitely would be."

Tommy's memorial bench (River Carver / SWNS)

Following the funeral, Tommy's minuscule remains were cremated at Cottingley Hall Crematorium.

But when the grieving mother went to collect Tommy's ashes, she was horrified to learn there were no ashes for her to collect.

Sadly, the scatter tube Co-op sent the hospital - which was supposed to have contained the ashes - was empty.

River said: "I was heartbroken - I rang my sister and broke down on the phone."

Despite her devastation, River spent the next three years trying to come to terms with the loss of her first child.

She went on to have Tommy's younger siblings Bobbylee, three, and Elisha, two, but has never forgotten her first son.

After a conversation with family in the summer of 2021, River was convinced to submit a formal complaint to the Co-op.

And, after an internal investigation took place, the company acknowledged its errors and apologised.

A letter to River sent in September 2021 said: "At the time of Tommy's sad death, staff from Co-op Funeralcare should have made the Bereavement Services team aware that due to Tommy's young age, there may not be any ashes to collect following cremation."

River went on to have two more children (River Carver / SWNS)

It explained that due to "a breakdown in communication", the young mum was then given an empty scatter tube.

It later read: "We are so very sorry for the upset these failures in communication have caused."

As compensation, Co-op agreed to foot the bill for a memorial area in River's garden, dedicated to Tommy, which she said was installed four months ago costing £4,000.

The memorial features a headstone, bench, a series of ornaments and a gate where the mum-of-two says she now sits every evening to think about him.

She said she brings Bobbylee and Elisha with her to the memorial, to talk about their older brother who they tragically never got to meet.

River said: "While the memorial is lovely, it's not quite the same.

"Nothing will bring him back and I know because I couldn't bring his ashes home, that he's not here with me. This mess-up means I don't have my son here."

A Co-op Funeralcare spokesperson said: "Our colleagues are committed to giving the best possible care and service at a time of devastating sadness and loss.

"We have one opportunity to get a funeral right and it is with our deepest regret that on this occasion, we did not meet our usual high standards.

"We are incredibly sorry for the additional distress that this caused Ms Carver and her family after the tragic loss of her son.

"Following the family's complaint, we carried out a full investigation which showed that, regrettably, mistakes and a breakdown in communication had occurred.

"In response to this, we have reviewed our procedures and implemented mandatory training to ensure that similar issues cannot happen again."

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