The overanalysis of the quarterback position found its new benchmark this week with the news likely overall No. 1 draft pick Joe Burrow has a 9-inch hand, which evidently was cause for great alarm if not not outright ridicule.
Burrow gave the span from the outstretched tips of his pinkie and thumb the gravity it deserved on Twitter, writing, "Considering retirement after I was informed the football will be slipping out of my tiny hands. Please keep me in your thoughts."
(In the spirit of transparency my own hand span turns out to be 8 ~ inches, which I find sufficient for primary tasks such as traversing a laptop keyboard and gripping a Whopper).
At the predraft NFL Scouting Combine going on in Indianapolis all sorts of measurements are being taken including those gauging intelligence. That's the Wonderlic test, which grades you from a low of 10 to a high of 50. This score is seen as especially important at quarterback, where a Wonderlic number that looks like a shoe size sends up even more alarms than a 9-inch hand.
This most fascinating offseason for the quarterback spot must be divided into two divisions:
Junior Division: For college players and the April 23-25 draft.
Senior Division: Current NFL stars entering free agency, which officially begins March 18.
The myopic view from Miami is that all that matters is whether the Dolphins, QB-desperate and drafting fifth overall, will land Tua Tagovailoa or have to settle for Justin Herbert.
The bigger story nationally is that Tom Brady, a pending free agent for the first time in his historic career, reportedly might actually leave New England and play elsewhere _ which also is of particularly keen interest in Miami, of course.
Sizing up the two divisions of quarterback availability from a Fins perspective as the calendar tips to March:
_ Junior division (draft): It was silly all along, the rumors that top-drafting Cincinnati might trade down (it won't) or Burrow might try to leverage to another team (he won't). Unless Burrow's right hand shrivels from a size-9 into a mangled claw during the next seven weeks, the Heisman winner from LSU will go No . 1 to the Bengals.
Then it gets interesting. And nerve-wracking for Miami.
After Washington surely takes Ohio State pass rusher Chase Young No. 2 overall, wild unpredictability ensues.
Would Detroit actually draft Tagovailoa No. 3 (Mel Kiper Jr. thinks so in his latest mock guess), even though the Lions claim no interest in trading Matthew Stafford? Or is this posturing by Motown to coax Miami or somebody else to panic and spend to trade up?
The Giants picking No. 4 also are waving the "open for business" sign, meaning open to a trade with somebody else quarterback shopping and looking to bump up ahead of the Dolphins.
The presumption is Miami will get Alabama's Tagovailoa at No. 5 (if Detroit is bluffing) or selected Oregon's Justin Herbert fifth if the Lions swoop in on Tua.
Herbert would feel like settling, although he wowed at the Senior Bowl and Kiper says he has "the highest ceiling of any quarterback in this class." I still am told Miami prefers Tagovailoa if he gets the full medical clearance from his hip injury on March 9 as anticipated.
No other quarterback is worthy of a top-five pick, and the Dolphins have every intention of landing theirs early.
The only real issue is whether Miami, which has the draft capital to do so, will be convinced they better trade up. That's doubtful. Look for the Fins to stay at the five spot and come away with Tagovailoa (they hope) or Herbert.
_ Senior division (free agency): Old G.O.A.T. Tom Brady, by all indications, actually looks forward to his first foray into free agency as he gears for his age-43 season. Betting odds still see him re-signing with New England, but the notion he might not grows.
Just Thursday on ESPN's "Get Up!" show, one of the network's NFL experts, Jeff Darlington, declared, "I'm now at the point where I would be shocked if Tom Brady went back to New England."
(Wow! Well I'm shocked that Jeff would be shocked. We're all shocked about something, as if anybody really knows anything in this coast to coast Speculation Fest of tea-leaf reading and guesswork).
Clearly there might be a market for Brady, and also for Philip Rivers, another graybeard on the open market after he and the Chargers agreed to part ways.
The Colts reportedly will pursue Rivers.
Brady's suitors will be led by the rebranding Las Vegas Raiders and the Chargers, according to betting odds. Then it's the Titans, Colts and Panthers as possibilities.
Miami is tied for sixth-shortest odds to land Brady (as per Odds Shark), but I would forget that at this point. The Dolphins are OK with returning Ryan Fitzpatrick for another year as the capable veteran bridge quarterback while Tagovailoa gets completely healthy or Herbert grows unhurried into the job.
Kiper wonders in his newest mock draft if the Dolphins might prefer a younger veteran free agent option such as Jameis Winston if he leaves Tampa Bay or Andy Dalton if Cincy cuts him as expected? Answer: Please, God, no!
Forget free agency for Miami's long-sought quarterback solution.
The answer will come with the fifth pick in the draft in seven weeks, and his name will be Tagovailoa or Herbert.
And both have a bigger hand than Joe Burrow, by the way.
