The Miami Dolphins and Houston Texans spectacularly lived down to the lowest possible expectations Sunday afternoon in a three-hour train wreck that treated football fans at Hard Rock Stadium to an absolute master class in awful.
If God had a sense of humor this game would have ended in a tie, 0-0, of course. But only because negative points are not possible in this sport.
As it was, Miami’s 17-9 victory saw fewer scoring plays (six) than combined turnovers (nine!). Somehow, the Dolphins won despite having five of those giveaways, truly a testament to the dumpster fire that is the Texans. I’d call the Fins prevailing the ultimate example of winning ugly, but that would be totally unfair to ugly.
Here were two 1-7 teams, both on seven-game losing streaks, that together might as well have been starring in a live, three-hour Netflix documentary on why bad teams are bad teams — one getting to seem sort of good(ish) only because the other was even worse.
But here’s the thing. When you are dying of thirst and somebody hands you water, you don’t ask if it’s distilled or spring. You drink it in massive, hungry gulps.
The Dolphins will take this. As is.
“Gives us confidence that the work we’re putting in is not going to waste,” as safety Eric Rowe put it.
He came to the postgame media session still in his No. 21 uniform, grass-stained. Muffled shouts of joy were heard through concrete walls in the nearby lockerroom.
It was a sound not heard lately.
“It’s like added fuel for us,” said safety Jevon Holland, who had an end-zone interception. “We really needed this.”
Said tight end Mike Gesicki, of the one-hand catches, “It means a ton. Smiles in the lockerroom.”
Receiver Mack Hollins wore a Heat jersey into the media session, Afro resplendent. “No matter how sloppy it is,” he said, “a win is levels above a close loss..”
Coach Brian Flores understated, “It’s good to get a win,” but emphasized the win despite those five turnovers.
“One is too many,” he coach-spoke. “It’s the No. 1 stat.”
The other big negative in the win?
Starting quarterback Tua Tagovailoa was a spectator. Injured. Again. (More on that in a second.)
This win, any win at this point, would be medicine for an ailing franchise, so needed, especially with a quick turnover around and a Thursday night game back at The Rock against Lamar Jackson and the Baltimore Ravens. I’d mention that nemesis Baltimore has beaten Miami in the past three meetings by scores of 59-10, 40-0 and 38-6.
That would be mean, though. Let the Fins enjoy this minute of joy, and relief. They’ve been waiting, and waiting. And waiting. Right along with their beleaguered fans.
Both Miami touchdown were gifted by Tyrod Taylor Interceptions.
The rookie Holland’s pick, thanks to a pressure sack by fellow safety Brandon Jones, set up a 7-0 Fins lead on Myles Gaskin’s 6-yard run.
Taylor’s second INT was, in one play, the description of creative ways to lose.
He rolled left and meant to intentionally throw the ball out of bounds. But didn’t quite. Miami’s Jerome Baker picked it off at the sideline at the Houston 26. Four plays later came Jacoby Brissett’s 5-yard scoring pass to Mack Collins to make it 17-6.
We mentioned Brissett. He played only because Tagovailoa sat out with a small fracture in the middle finger of his (left) throwing hand. Flores had said only two days earlier he was hopeful his QB1 would play.
To have your starting quarterback not starting but on the active roster, eligible to play if needed as Tua was Sunday, is unusual, nearly bizarre. Miami might have been smart to activate third-stringer Jake Dolegala from the practice squad, but did not.
Anyhow, you have to think Tagovailoa will be very questionable to be ready to play by Thursday might.
This continues a troubling pattern of injury issues for the second-year QB. Dating back to college at Alabama this is his ninth different injury. That includes missing one game with a jammed thumb as a Dolphins rookie, missing three games (and most of a fourth) this year with fractured ribs, and now missing one game (and maybe more) with the finger issue.
Troubling, this is. A football bromide among coaches is that the most fundamental, necessary ability is availability. And Tagovailoa has proved somewhat unreliable on that.
Symbolically, against Houston, and with the months and months of Deshaun Watson speculation finally over for now with last week’s trade deadline past, this was the chance for Tagovailoa to start establishing himself and disproving the doubters.
He has eight games left this season to do that, to prove he is the Dolphins QB answer moving forward.
That will take improved performance. But that will start with being and staying healthy, with actually playing.
