Whilst Lost in Showbiz deliberates over whether or not to attend Princess Diana's memorial service, wondering which garment obtained from Paul Burrell's attic would be the look to work, it emerges there is another hallowed rite taking place this week: the wedding of Miss Jodie Marsh.
I say "it emerges", though of course to anyone who has been watching MTV's Totally Jodie Marsh: Who'll Take Her Up The Aisle, it will have been months since the date was circled on the calendar with a big, red, idiot-proof crayon.
We shall not trouble ourselves overly much with the malfunctioning glamour replicant's imminent marriage to one of Jordan's cast-offs, whom she finally chose after a lengthy audition process - all captured lovingly on film. Suffice to say that with all the palaver over which A-listers are in or out for the Guards Chapel memorial on Friday, it is easy to lose sight of the more immediate tragedy: that of Jodie's guestlist on Sunday. Lost in Showbiz has seen some shocking turnouts in its time, but the rundown of invitees which Jodie gives this week's Closer must either be some kind of biting satire on the whole business of celebrity pals, or a cry for help that trumps even her own horrifyingly needy precedents.
Closer: "Will there be any celebrity guests?"
Jodie: "Comedian Syd Little and glamour model Linsey Dawn McKenzie are coming. I'm also going to invite Fatima Whitbread, Vanessa Feltz, Daniella Westbrook and singer Chesney Hawkes."
Mine eyes...! In any other circumstances, that "I'm also going to invite" would indicate that Jodie had left it awfully late to be assured of a yes. But apart from Chesney, who will most likely still be inconsolable after the memorial, you'd have to rate her chances of landing this lot as fair to pretty frickin' excellent.
