There were a lot of standout outfits at the Grammys this year, but Madonna’s bottom-scrunchie affair may safely be described as the most gasp-worthy.
The elasticised band clutched the southern side of her butt cheeks, pushing them up and out and emphasising their Pilates peachiness.
The bottom scrunchie – in case it didn’t make enough of an impact – was matched with fishnet stockings, thigh-high leather boots with silver spiked heels, and biceps-high black gloves.
It was a look that said “German beer wench crossed with Weimar Republic cabaret crooner”. It also said “matador crossed with Mad Max” and “I’m 56, what of it?”
While Madonna was all flash and dash, performers such as Sia and Rihanna went the other way, covering up and over themselves with wigs and acres of fabric.
Sia channelled Cousin It in a fluffy white triangular wig reminiscent of roofing insulation remnants. Only her mouth – wearing a fetching bright, red lipstick – and nose remained visible.
She was accompanied (or “supported” as some websites had it) by child doppelganger Dance Moms’ Maddie Ziegler.
Then there was Rihanna. Her pink Giambattista Valli creation was a gorgeous, vivid colour but its high waist and full skirt resembled the “toilet dolls” sometimes sold, in days of yore, at regional craft markets.
Bare your bum, cover your body and face entirely – it was a night of glorious extremes at the Grammys.
