You might infer that the multi-noun headline ''DOG GIRL BUS BAN' is about a girl who was banned from taking her dog on a bus. Actually, it's much better than that. It's about a Goth who was banned from taking his Goth girlfriend, whom he leads on a chain, on a bus.
'It's my choice,' Tasha comments in the Sun. 'I'm a pet, I don't cook or clean and don't go anywhere without Dani. It makes us happy.' To clarify: 'I generally act animal-like... It's my culture and my choice. It isn't hurting anyone.'
Unfortunately, an Arriva Yorkshire bus driver in Dewsbury disagrees. 'We don't let freaks and dogs like you on,' he told the couple, allegedly 'grabbing' Dani's T-shirt and 'slamming him backwards'. Dani responded by calling him a 'fascist pig'. The bus company is investigating.
The Daily Mail notes disapprovingly that both live on benefits in a council house and are thinking about starting a family. Whether the offspring will be chained to Tash or Dani, or neither, is a question that, sadly, no reporter thought to ask.
* This is an extract from the Wrap, Guardian Unlimited's digest of the daily papers.
