When this year’s Strictly Come Dancing lineup was announced in September, no one could have predicted that former shadow chancellor Ed “Glitter” Balls would become the star of this year’s dancefloor. He was Strictly filler, there to pad out the lineup and throw those who looked and danced the part into sharp relief. He would be another Ann Widdecombe or John Sergeant, plodding through the motions with grim determination, eyes beseeching the public to end this weekly misery.
But instead, he has been something of a revelation. Week after week we’ve watched his footwork, timing and performance level improve, as he and his professional partner Katya Jones have pulled off some of the most entertaining Strictly dances in years. Each one has been delivered with bags of personality and a truckload of effort. Ed wasn’t the best dancer by any stretch, but if there’s one thing the Strictly audience loves it’s a trier.
Of course all good things must come to an end, and tonight was his turn to shimmy into the Strictly sunset. All that remains is for us to celebrate his best bits, his funniest bits, and that time he nearly dropped Katya on her head.
Week two – the air banjo incident
After a ploddy waltz in week one, week two’s banjo-tastic charleston was the first indication that Ed could not only move all his limbs in time to music, but could also deliver a dance with real character. Craig gave it a score of three, possibly for the bit where Ed plays air banjo on Katya’s thigh.
Week four – Balls the dragon slayer
Week four’s Spamalot paso doble was a hot mess from start to finish, but Ed prancing about in silver socks and a cape was welcome light relief in a lacklustre week. Katya was holding out for a hero, Len was holding out for a paso, but Britain was too busy laughing to care.
Week five – the only way to Amarillo
And then it was week five’s American smooth, and for as long as I live I will never get bored of watching Ed nearly drop Katya in that lift. Only her rock solid core saved her from a swan dive on to the Strictly dancefloor. Somehow Ed still wasn’t in the bottom two, but at least Katya didn’t have to go through it again in the danceoff.
Week six – the self-pleasuring scientist
The week that spawned a thousand memes was Halloween week, when mad scientist Ed danced the cha-cha to Love Potion No 9. Overenthusiastic thrusting aside, this marked a turning point in the quality of Ed’s dancing: it was actually a pretty decent cha-cha, and I’m still smiling weeks later. If you only watch 10 seconds of TV this year, make it this glorious moment when Ed Balls indulged in a little Strictly Self-Pleasuring.
Week eight – Gangnam Balls
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, Balls climbed aboard Katya’s Gangnam pony and gave us a salsa to remember. In the week where Donald Trump won his own POTUS gameshow, Ed cantering around the Strictly studio was just what we needed.
But his Strictly journey came to an end this evening, when his Rolling Stones tango couldn’t give enough Satisfaction to keep him in the competition. He might not have been the UK’s most popular politician, nor Strictly’s best dancer, but he brought plenty of smiles this autumn, and lord knows 2016 has been light on those. Thanks, Glitterballs – you’ve been unforgettable.
