The Royal Horticultural Society has lifted its 100-year ban on gnomes at this year's Chelsea flower show. "It's good, isn't it?" says Ann Atkin, who runs the Gnome Reserve, a four-acre haven for 2,000 gnomes in Devon. "I'm sure that quite a lot of visitors who go to Chelsea do have gnomes in their gardens and the fact they don't show them casts a little shadow over it."
Is it just an example of long-held snobbery? Atkin is too polite to say so, but explains: "If you go back to the late 19th century, when gnomes first came to this country, the fashion for garden statuary was neo-classicism – things in white – and gnomes were bright colours so they weren't in fashion."
Why is she so enamoured with them? "I'm a painter, and I once came across a little problem in my painting – I didn't know which way to go. You can take this with a pinch of salt if you like, but this gnome appeared in my mind and solved the problem for me. So I think they're, at the same time, 100% serious, 100% humour."
Although Chelsea's ban on "brightly coloured mythical creatures" looks as if it will be lifted for one year only – 100 gnomes, painted by celebrities including Elton John and Judi Dench, will be auctioned for charity to celebrate the show's centenary – this renewed focus on gnomes could prompt a comeback. Start your collection here:
Combat gnome
At just under a foot tall, "this vicious warrior knows there's no drink more intoxicating than the blood of his enemies", according to its creator Shawn Thorsson, a costume and prop maker. Think Apocalypse Now remade with Smurfs.
£44.67, Etsy Photograph: Shawn Thorsson/Etsy
Classic gnome
Basically, your ideal, unpretentious classic gnome. Yes, he's carrying an axe and has the look of someone who has taken too many drugs in his lifetime, but the overall feel is friendly enough. "WHAT DO YOU GET THE MAN THAT HAS EVERYTHING?" posits a shouty "Babs" in the customer reviews section. "A GARDEN GNOME OF COURSE." Must remember that.
£7.99 each, Homebase Photograph: Homebase
Gnome table
Technically, an irony-rich coffee table rather than a garden gnome, but I can see this Philippe Starck design on many a Dalston roof terrace.
£180, designed by Philippe Starck for Kartell, madeindesign.co.uk Photograph: madeindesign.co.uk
Mushroom child gnome
You can see the thinking behind it: what garden couldn't be enhanced by a model of a smiling child wearing a cute hat shaped like a mushroom? Alas, the finished article looks like a face peeping out of a poo.
£2.98, B&Q Photograph: B&Q
Gnome riding a pig
For gnome enthusiasts, the specialist shop GnomesForYou has a wide range of common or garden gnomes, including several that may be euphemistically described as "cheeky" when really "indecent exposure" would be more accurate (I didn't think I would be typing the words "gnome penis" when I turned up for work today). But this, of a gnome riding a pig, is my favourite. Why? It's a gnome riding a pig. No explanation necessary.
Urban gnome
Say an Adipose from Dr Who went into a hipster tattoo parlour and asked for something vaguely gothy – this would be the result. A whole range of contemporary gnomes designed by Vitamin, an east-London based company that describes it as the "must-have gnome for a modern consumer". I didn't think I would be typing the words "must-have gnome" today either.
£49.50, by Vitamin, mydeco.com Photograph: mydeco.com
Modern gnome
Proving gnomes don't have to be either traditionally tacky or ironically tacky, these resin gnomes, designed by Joe Velluto, an Italian design studio, are rather simple and delightful.
Designed by JoeVelluto, plust collection Photograph: Plust.it
Zombie gnome
Mainly making the list for the excellent pun "Lawn of the Dead", this small range of zombie gnomes from a US online store shows gnomes for what they really are: terrifying, evil and planning to kill you. Maybe the RHS has a point after all.
Garden teeth thing
Not a gnome, but it's not fair that I will never be able to get this image out of my head so now I'm just dragging you down with me. I'm going to get one and say it's an original Jake and Dinos Chapman piece.
£8.99, gardens2you.co.uk Photograph: gardens2you.co.uk
