First, the bad news: Dave Grohl has got so many metal pins in his leg he can no longer play Glastonbury festival (thanks to boring old “doctor’s orders”). Now the good news: you didn’t really like Foo Fighters anyway, did you? And now we can all get on with the business of getting excited about whoever it is will be replacing them.
But who should it be? There are plenty of possible options.
Taylor Swift is one big favourite. She’s got a blank space (get it?) in her diary, and was originally rumoured to be headlining. It would cause Foo Fighters fans to go into meltdown, of course, and probably prompt some dickhead to start a petition about it. But who cares about like-for-like replacements? And Swift would have goodwill on her side if she stepped up to save the day.
Florence + the Machine are another obvious choice, seeing as Florence Welch playing on the Pyramid stage right before the Foos were scheduled to go on. Many people thought Welch should have been given a shot at the top of the bill, especially given the lack of women awarded big slots at the festival. On the downside, give her top billing lacks the element of surprise and, well, she’s also carrying an injury after breaking her foot at Coachella. What is it with these musicians?
Talking of injuries, surely booking the Stone Roses makes a certain romantic sense. It’s been 20 years since they had to pull out because John Squire broke his collarbone and shoulder blade, only to be replaced as headliners by a triumphant Pulp. Could they repeat history in reverse?
Going left-field for a moment, Kanye West is another artist who is “around” – he is headlining Glastonbury the following night. Could he do it two nights in a row? If he did, it would be the silliest, most egotistical moment in festival history … so maybe.
Elsewhere, it’s possible to imagine slots from Blur, who headlined relatively recently but were utterly brilliant when they did, and Kylie – who pulled out of her Sunday-night headline slot 10 years ago after she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
There’s also stadium busker Ed Sheeran, hard rockers AC/DC and the return of Adele to think about. Not to mention Coldplay, Radiohead, Madonna or Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds (he’s already said they will headline Glastonbury “if they’re asked”).
Who do you think should play? Have we missed out anyone obvious? Have we grossly overlooked the pulling power of Sleaford Mods? Answers in the comments please, with the winning suggestion chosen by Michael Eavis himself to headline this year’s event. Possibly. If he’s reading. And he likes what you’ve said. And they can play.
