Up
The Janelle Monae show
Featuring dancers straight from outer space, in Lycra bodysuits, wimple-esque headgear, and ginormous shoulder pads. Cosmic!
False eyelashes
Not the most obvious eye wear for a weekend in a muddy field but hey, if it's good enough for Beyoncé . . .
Periscopes
The short person's festival accessory of choice. Stepladders are so last year.
Best landmark
Wellyhenge, marking the graveyard of boots lost in the Pilton's stickiest mud.
Pulp's Common People
This year's unofficial Glastonbury anthem by the ultimate hip-gyrating, wit-bantering secret guests. Watch and learn, Radiohead.
Doing the "duck" hands
A sock puppet motion without the sock, helpful when leading a group of friends through a crowd. Get quacking.
Down
The DFL (down from London) look
Barbour? Check. Ray-Bans? Check. Hunters? Check. Time to go BTL? Check.
C-list celeb spots
From the football world: Joey Barton, Nancy Dell'Olio, Tim Lovejoy. From the telly: Al Murray, the pub Landlord, someone from Grange Hill that wasn't Zammo, and Harry Enfield.
Underwhelming celeb revelations
Ed Norton was on site as a guest of Radiohead; Joey Barton is managed by Vampire Weekend's managers.
Saying "I'm Dean Piper's assistant"
Do you really think that will get you a backstage pass? No, Babes!
Gun fingers in the air
Whether it's Method Man or the man in the Hip hop karaoke tent, Glasto's peace vibes don't quite equate with pretend fire arms. Braappp, braappp etc.
Mud walks
The walk like a shark quick-step shuffle; the ski-style side-glide or the Liam mud fer it swagger - we've all done it.
