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Glasgow Live
Glasgow Live
National
Keiran Fleming

Glasgow mum praises baby loss charity for vital support after losing her daughter at just 33 weeks

A Glasgow mum has praised charity SiMBA for supporting her through one of the darkest periods in her life after she lost her daughter.

Charlie Gallagher, from Castlemilk, gave birth on October 15 2018, however, tragically little Jessica was stillborn.

The experience was a traumatic one for the 34-year-old but the Dalkeith based charity was there to support both Charlie and her partner from the start. Charlie is now backing a campaign to try and save the organisation from closure due to spiralling costs and a significant shortfall in fundraising.

SiMBA provides support for bereaved parents who have lost a baby at any stage of their pregnancy or around the time of birth. This includes creating memory boxes to help them gather timeless memories and providing family rooms within maternity units to offer parents the time to say goodbye to their babies.

Read more: SiMBA charity facing closure due to soaring costs and shortfall in much-needed funding

When Charlie lost Jessica the care and love shown by SiMBA was crucial.

She told Glasgow Live: "I went into labour at 33 weeks which was a bit of a shock to my system because I didn't know such a thing existed.

"I knew you had pregnancy complications but having a baby born sleeping was not something I really knew much about.

"When I went into labour I was taken into hospital and they discovered my daughter didn't have a heart beat, which was a shock to me and my partner because we were totally unprepared.

"I went through the labour process in an ICU maternity room because I was seriously ill. Once I had Jessica, I was sat down by one of the midwives and they explained what had happened.

"They explained how lucky I was to survive and how brave I was. She told me about this charity called SIMBA that provided memory boxes for people.

"This was a shock to me because when I suffered a silent miscarriage in 2015 it was a totally different tone. Once the procedure they just let you go and there was no information about charities."

Charlie was handed a memory box full of keepsakes and personal items straight away. The heartfelt gifts from the charity still, almost five years on, provide the mum with a link to her daughter.

Jessica's Grave (supplied)

Charlie explained: "I went through one of the hardest experiences of my life and that point I didn't know how to feel.

"I didn't know how to cope with my loss. This box meant that somebody cares about what I've been through.

"It did take me a couple of weeks to properly go through the box because I was grieving but when I did I was flabbergasted. There was so much effort and work put into them.

"There was a handcrafted thing in it and few things in the box I did use. There was a keyring, which I still have, it was a love heart keyring but the middle bit came out.

"The whole premise was that you could give that heart to you baby when they were buried or cremated. My daughter was buried with the middle part and that was special.

"My daughter will always have part of me with her and I'll always have part of her with me. I didn't want her to be getting buried alone so putting the knitted teddy bear beside her gave me some comfort because I knew she wasn't going to be alone.

"There was so much thought put into them."

The mum was also able to stay alongside her daughter in one of the family rooms funded by SiMBA in the hospital. The time she spent with her loved ones in the room helped Charlie grieve the loss of her child

The 34-year-old explained: "It was done up like a proper room. It had proper bedding, fridge and there were covers and blankets so my partner could stay over, it was made to feel homely.

"To have a space where you can grieve with your family was special for me. The rooms also had cuddle cots for the baby so we had a chance to spend time with her.

"Those cots were also supplied by SiMBA. I spent three days in the hospital with my daughter by my side and we got the chance to properly grieve, dealing with it in a more private way."

The family had the opportunity to take pictures with Jessica, however, the heartbroken mum forgot the email address to contact to receive the important pictures.

SiMBA were on hand to ensure that Charlie would have the treasured images of her daughter in her possession.

She said: "I emailed them asking if they knew who to get in touch with.

"Not only did they get back to me but they said they would get in touch with the hospital for me and sort it.

"At that point in my journey, I was organising her funeral, my head was all over the place and obviously I felt lost. After helping me they provided details of a support group on Facebook.

"Connecting to people who understood what I was going through provided me with a lifeline. I'm still in touch with some of the people I met in that group.

"Loads of family and friends were there for me but sometimes they don't understand how I feel about certain things and it was so nice to connect with people who get it."

The grieving mother also attended a couple of in person support groups and shared her journey with others who went through similar traumatic events

SiMBA's impact on Charlie's life has led to her raising cash for the vital service.

Charlie has organised a number of fundraisers (supplied)

However, she is now worried that many families will be lost without the charity - who declared they may shut their doors in three months - to guide them through the mourning process.

The fundraiser said: "I feel it is important for people to get the same help I did. I wanted to fundraise in Jessica's memory.

"The money from the Valentine's Ball I organised went towards opening up more family rooms at the Princess Royal. When I went through my loss there were only two rooms.

"So when I first heard the news they might be shutting it really broke my heart. I remember when I went to my first meeting, I spoke to one of the facilitators and he said there was only one cuddle cot in the hospital when he lost his baby so they only got to spend one day with their child.

"That made me realise how lucky I was to spend three days with my child. It makes me sad to think that there are people out there who don't get to spend as much time with their baby as they would like.

"Spending that time with your child is such an important moment."

After Jessica's still birth, Charlie was told at the beginning of last year it was unsafe for her to become pregnant.

The inspiring individual has decided to share her tragic story with as many people as possible to help break that taboo of discussing baby loss.

Charlie said: "One of the promises I made to my daughter is that I would speak out about baby loss to educate others.

"Sharing my story keeps Jessica's name alive. I'm at a good place with my loss. Everything I do is in memory of Jessica. She wouldn't want me to sit back and watch SiMBA close it's doors.

"There will be other people who aren't in a good place with their loss and SiMBA is safe space for them. People don't realise how hard it is to find others who want to speak about their losses.

She hopes her story will make more people comfortable speaking about baby loss (supplied)

"By me opening up my journey, I've had people contact me and share their story.

"It makes people feel more comfortable if more people are willing to speak up about their journey, it will help immensely."

Although she has now accepted her loss, Charlie knows that her journey will never end. However, she has made it her mission to experience all the things Jessica missed out on to ensure that the memory of her daughter still lives on.

She explained: "It's hard, it's upsetting, there will be moments you don't want to live, but you need to make memories for your child.

"Every time I do something whether it's a gig, theatre, go out for dinner I always say this is for Jessica because she won't have the chance to do this.

"Last year I went to college and now I'm hoping to go to university. I said to myself 'Jessica won't get the opportunity to go to college' so I did it and completed it last year.

"The prospect of applying for Glasgow Uni is scary but my daughter won't get to go so I'll do it for her. This year Jessica would've turned five so she should have started primary school in August.

"I see people sending their children to school and I'll never get that opportunity. But I was sent on this path for a reason, to help others."

To donate to SiMBA's appeal and help the charity continue their important work, click here.

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