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Glasgow Live
Glasgow Live
National
Kirsten McStay & Lee Dalgetty

Glasgow man goes viral after disastrous experience with vending machine pizza

There’s nothing better than scranning a pizza after a few drinks, especially when it comes from a vending machine - you would assume.

In Merchant City, you can do just that in 180 seconds. Many have been curious to sample the offerings, and several have had quite the experience.

Twitter user John McCarthy, after polishing off a couple of cans, headed down to the vending machine to test it for himself. He documented the experience on social media, which has since gone viral.

READ MORE - Glasgow woman's accent goes viral and TikTok can't get enough

He wrote: "This week. I hit my lowest culinary point after a couple of cans. In Glasgow, there's a pizza vending machine, in the wall of an abandoned shop. It's a curious thing. It MUST be bad. But how bad??? Let's find out.

"Order logged. £9. NINE OF THE QUEEN'S GREAT BRITANNIC POUNDLINGS. *Kings And a three minute wait. Noises coming from the vender. Mechanical wonders coax to life to craft the pizza. Hunger pangs drown them out. Will. The. Wall. Deliver?"

Though he doubted the machine would deliver, it eventually did - though the results were disappointing. He continued: “The results from the pizza vending machine must be seen to be believed.”

The next tweet included a video of them trying to work out how to get the pizza out of the machine - showing John opening the compartment but feeling like the metal is cutting his hands. Eventually they get it, though it feels ‘smaller and lighter’ than expected.

More disappointment came after opening the box, John explained: “So. It didn’t cook? At. All.

“Yes they are supposed to. I almost went back and bought another one?

“Did I accidentally choose RAW PIZZA in a drunken stupor. Surely not.”

The friends took the pizza home and continued on with their review. He continued: “Just because it is inedible. Doesn’t mean we can’t review the Letterbox Goodfella.

“We’ve a wheaty base. There's either flour or asbestos on it. There IS cheese. It is definitely a less than generous serving but it may melt well. The tomato base. It sure is the correct colour.

"I trundle home with this Italian shame cradled in a torn box. The pizza is more than a meal, this Potemkin paesano is the failed promise of society that told us to work hard, play fair and be rewarded. Even God can't forgive the creators of this Heinz communion wafer. But I'm a resourceful soul with an oven and the courage to use it."

John continues to tell of how they drunkenly cooked the pizza, with it coming crunchy and burnt. After the ordeal he claims he was left ‘standing here wondering how to get a refund out of a wall’.

He added: “There is a helpline on the machine. Do I read them out this thread?

“Maybe I don’t deserve a refund. Maybe life lessons carry a steep price.”

The Pizza Machine UK has been contacted for comment.

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