My wife, Gilla Gelberg, a psychotherapist working for the NHS in Newham, east London, has died aged 63, after being knocked down by a bus outside her workplace in Stratford. She was the psychodynamic psychotherapy team leader, working with individuals from diverse backgrounds with complex issues in which social deprivation, family abuse and refugee status converged. Despite the stress and challenges, this was her dream job, the culmination of years of training and clinical experience.
Born in Bloemfontein, in apartheid South Africa, daughter of Misha Gelberg, who owned and ran a men’s clothing store, and Shula Machnes, a former dancer, Gilla moved to London in 1978. A professional jazz vocalist in the early 1980s, she had a much stronger drive to help people, especially children, with emotional difficulty and trauma.
She gave up her musical career and became a trainee at the Children’s Hours Trust in 1986. Gilla became a skilled practitioner of non-directive play therapy. She spent many hours working with severely autistic children, this early professional experience having a profound formative impact. She talked with passion about the liberating effect of “just being listened to and acknowledged”, no matter what.
Gilla and I met in London in 1988 through our mutual love of jazz, and married in 1992. With our two young sons at home, Gilla embarked on several years of academic training during the 1990s. After gaining her MA in integrative psychotherapy at the Minster Centre in 1999, she built a successful private practice and also worked for Community Mental Health Services in Barnet and the Priory hospital in Essex.
Her aim was always to extend her experience and training sufficiently to work for the NHS. In 2009 this opportunity arose. She applied for a post with NHS mental health services in Newham, becoming a psychodynamic psychotherapist, the proudest moment of her career to date.
Gilla seized every opportunity to further her training and skills, including at the renowned Tavistock Centre. She was a consultant to the Metropolitan Police, to the Priory hospital in north London, and more recently to Mulberry school in Oxfordshire. All of these organisations appreciated her calm warmth and professionalism, in particular her pioneering work in “reflective practice” groups which she ran with frontline staff. She also returned to the Minster Centre as a group leader and supervisor.
Gilla was a shining example of an NHS worker who treasured the opportunity to serve others. She was deeply troubled by cuts to the service but remained dedicated to attracting and mentoring the highly talented practitioners she felt the NHS deserved. She will be much missed by colleagues, patients and her very many friends, who also experienced her generosity and warmth.
Gilla is survived by our sons, Eliot and Asher, and me; and by her mother.
