Thou shalt not flipping swear, actually.
The Gilbert and George show at Tate Modern is fabulous, encyclopaedic, dirty, beautiful and exhausting - and luckily has the museum's fourth floor coffee shop as a halfway break (though not from the art, which, wonderfully, seeps in to the café and out on to the concourse outside the gallery).
Also at this midway point is a shop. I've got to say, I am usually an absolute snob about exhibition shops (especially the vulgarity of having one within the show) but the various Gilbert and Georgealia for sale unexpectedly had me reaching for my purse.
Suddenly I found I had an aching need for a G&G swearbox saying PAY UP AND F**K OFF. And a delightful collection of Life, Death, Hope and Fear badges. And a Three Dozen Streets PVC bag (terribly practical for cycling round London). Best of all, the two-volume, utterly luxurious Complete Pictures - a steal at £39. Plus, there are tremendous posters and acres of postcards.
Miraculously, I managed to leave with a single poster: The X Commandments For Gilbert & George. I shall leave you with them, as they are extremely edifying:
I Thou shalt fight conformism II Thou shalt be the messenger of freedoms III Thou shalt make use of sex IV Thou shalt reinvent life V Thou shalt grab the soul VI Thou shalt give thy love VII Thou shalt create artificial art VIII Thou shalt have a sense of purpose IX Thou shalt not know exactly what thou dost, but thou shalt do it X Thou shalt give something back
