Name: Gif.
Age: 26.
Appearance: A cat falling into a toilet, for ever.
Why are we talking about gifs? Is one trending on Twitter? Is it a girl bouncing on a trampoline without a bra again? Nope, it's the inventor of the gif, Steven Wilhite.
Steven Wilhite has been bouncing on a trampoline without a bra? Get your mind out of the gutter. He has been voicing his concern that we have all been mispronouncing the word "gif" for the past two decades.
Have we? You mean people exist in this world who say the word "gif" out loud? Yes. And they've been using a hard G when they've done it, like "gosh" or "gorilla" or "git".
And presumably it's supposed to have a soft G? That's right, like "Germany" or "gin" or "Gee, does any of this even matter?"
Does it even matter? Apparently it does. Wilhite picked up a lifetime achievement Webby for his invention this week and took the opportunity to conclusively state that "It is a soft 'G', pronounced 'jif'. End of story."
Well, that's us told. What does gif stand for, anyway? Graphics Interchange Format.
But "graphics" starts with a hard G. Shouldn't gif start with a hard G too? Stop it, you're only complicating things.
This is like the grand Ginsters debate all over again. Entire families have been torn apart because they didn't know if it was pronounced "Jinsters" or "Ginsters". I know. And it's "Ginsters". Anyone who uses a soft G when talking about pasties is a moron.
So it's "jif". Fine. I don't suppose this matters. Soon the Europeans will get hold of it and change the name to "cif" anyway. Was that a joke about kitchen degreaser? Because that's been known as Cif for 13 years now. Get over yourself.
Sorry. All this talk of hard Gs and soft Gs has sent me ga-ga. Don't you mean ja-ja?
I literally don't know any more. Can't I just go back to watching funny animations on the internet? Like one of a giant giraffe called Geronimo gyrating gently at a generation of gerbils named Gemma? Genius.
Do say: "Gif."
Don't say: "Gif."
