Gianfranco Zola

Michael McGrath kicks things off with a poem. “Hi-diddle-dee-dee, Here’s spending money for me. A tall midfielder, a fast attack, A graceful sweeper-come-centre-back. Hi-diddle-dee-day, I’ll show them how to play. The board’s behind me, they loved my guile, They won’t mind losing when we’ve got style Hi-diddle- etc and so forth ...” Photograph: n/a

Andrew Ferguson reckons Zola's been brushing up on 'Ammers 'istory with Elijah Wood. Photograph: n/a

There's something deeply chilling about Neil Pollock's rendition of a Zola made of cheese. "The cheeky little Italian blue with bite was determined to prove he was the big cheese at West Ham." Photograph: n/a

"The new Hammers boss hired some East End locals to give himself more of a presence in the dugout," chortles Kevin O'Riordan Photograph: n/a

But Jschnell - that's how he signed off - thinks you don't need to be a prophet to see what's around the corner. "In years to come, having finally retired after a few frustrating months at a financially troubled West Ham, and after a few highly successful seasons as manager of his beloved Chelsea, Zola will rework his experiences into three autobiographical novels." Photograph: n/a

"Look, you're ALL individuals," insists our diminutive hero in David Madden's entry. "'Yes, we ARE all individuals,' reply the Hammers fans in unison." Photograph: n/a

Niel Butler found this notice stuck up outside East End College. Photograph: n/a

"Director of football Gianluca Nani was looking forward to working with his new manager," sniggers John Barry. Photograph: n/a