In relationships, making plans together is a crucial aspect of building intimacy. However, what happens when those plans are hijacked by unforeseen circumstances? Or even worse, egotistical personal interests?
Reddit user Caesar-Sensei hadn’t seen his girlfriend in months, so when the two of them went on a long-awaited vacation together, he wanted to milk every second of it.
But as his post on r/TrueOffMyChest reveals, instead of quality time alone with his partner, the guy was forced to endure the constant presence of her friends, who, by the way, he isn’t fond of.
Couples need uninterrupted quality time together to nurture their relationship
Image credits: djoronimo / Envato (not the actual photo)
But when this guy went on vacation, expecting it to be a getaway solely for him and his girlfriend, he was blindsided by unexpected company
Image credits: valeriygoncharukphoto / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Caesar-Sensei
You learn a lot about your partner when you go on vacation together
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Traveling and being with a person 24/7 is very different than simply dating and having dinner together a few nights every week, so no wonder experts suggest being upfront with your partner right from the get-go.
As couples plan, they ought to sit down and figure out what each of them wants from the experience.
That can even be done explicitly — a written list of things they’d like to do, see, and eat while they’re on the road.
Pam Costa, a therapist and Somatica-certified sex and relationship coach, recommends that people ask one another how both of them would like to feel on the vacation, vs. what they would like to do.
It’s not that hard. For example, if a person says, “I really want to feel relaxed,” they can pick a beach destination to visit. And if a person says they want to feel spontaneous, a more adventurous itinerary could be in order.
Of course, leaving room for the unknown and keeping your plans flexible is a good idea, but it’s essential to establish boundaries and communicate openly too.
“You learn some of the nuances or quirks about a person’s personality when you’re traveling with them, for certain,” said Moe Ari Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist.
And the author of the Reddit story may have very well learned that he’s not that important to his girlfriend.
As the story went viral, its author joined the discussion in the comments
