The NFL regular season is finally upon us and frenzied fans bring jerseys back into their regular wardrobe rotation while the players go back to sporting the swoosh head to toe. Off the field, NFL players are finally taking cues from more fashionable leagues like the NBA and investing in their own personal style. Unfortunately, the sultans of the sidelines – their head coaches – do not seem as interested in showing out and dressing up for game day. In honour of No Fun League’s return, it’s time to have a little fun at the expense of eight of the head coach’s wardrobes and give them an equal amount of tough love and advice to have them looking their best, or at least in the running for most improved personal style.
Bill Belichick
Style signature: The cut off sweatshirt Sith Lord or The Hoody (see above)
Current look: There’s certainly not another coach in the NFL that has the same dominating sideline style presence as Belichick. His style doesn’t differ much from warm to cold weather games, for Belichick it comes down layering under his cotton knit cloak and the occasional knitted cap.
What he’s doing right: Besides cheating, there are few things that Belichick is doing right. But he has created a signature look as on the sidelines at Foxborough, one thing you can always count on is the cut off sweatshirt – usually grey, sometimes navy – always on Belichick brand and of course, Nike Football.
What he’s doing wrong: Let me count the ways – to say that Belichick’s outfit is unflattering is an understatement to say the least. He looks like a bit like a nonplussed troll amongst the sea of athletes in spandex. His haircut is equally bad, as it looks like Tom Brady administers bowl cuts for his head coach when necessary. Yikes.
What he should be wearing: As much as I may poke fun at Belichick’s cut off sweatshirt, it would be entertaining if Belichick truly embraced his inner evil emperor and went full on Sith lord by adding a cape or even making the cut off sweater a cloak. Nike already has similar items in their product line up - why not make a special Patriots one for their infamous coach?
Rex Ryan
Style signature: The sweater vest aficionado
Current look: After five years with the New York Jets, it’s finally time for a new team and color palette for the often polarizing Ryan. Now with the Buffalo Bills, Ryan can ditch the gang green for the blue, white and red of the Bills. He’s already been swapping out his signature sweater vest for a more flattering polo shirt. We’ll call that progress, people.
What he’s doing right: The new red, white and blue color palette of the Bills is much more flattering than the Christmas green of the Jets. He should stick with his first instinct of sporting Buffalo blue with only touches of red and white. Ryan should be applauded for committing to his weight loss plan as he’s never looked healthier.
What he’s doing wrong: Ryan has to stay away from wearing too much red or large collared polos and jackets. The red is too close to his skintone and he tends to turn a shade of scarlet when he’s yelling, much like fellow red, white and blue NFL coach Tom Coughlin. The large collars may seem like one way to camouflage a larger neck but they instead add bulk.
What he should be wearing: Ryan should stick to blue polo shirts when possible, perhaps sizing down as his weight continues to fall to ensure a proper fit. Hopefully there are some smaller collar polos in stock. The silver chain is a nice touch too.
Pete Carroll
Style signature: Baggy Khaki King
Current look: Now that Jim Harbaugh has left the league, it’s time for Pete Carroll to be anointed the khaki king of all NFL coaches. The fifth year Seahawks head coach is most often seen in a dark Seahawks Nike top - be it a crewneck, jacket or hoodie - it’s always navy and Nike.
What he’s doing right: Carroll, much like his players and most NFL coaches, has a uniform. He’s easy to spot on the sidelines, the sportier top allows him range of movement and bring color to his face while the white sneakers and khakis work in theory, but not execution.
What he’s doing wrong: The fit on Carroll’s khaki trousers is troubling, to say the least. They’re too long, baggy and I’m almost certain they’re of the “relax fit” style. Carroll’s favorite kicks, the Air Monarch, better known as the dad shoe of the sneaker world, aren’t a great pairing with the khakis and sports shirts thanks to the big tongue and bulky sole.
What he should be wearing: For Carroll, it’s all about streamlining his current look, as it’s not ALL bad. The khakis need to come in a different fit and preferably a darker shade of tan so they don’t glare so brightly on screen. An athletic fit chino with a more tapered leg would eliminate the balloon effect his pants currently have his own his frame while a modern, sportier Nike, like a Flyknit Trainer or Roshe, would give this coach comfort and greatly upgrade his style game.
Bruce Arians
Style signature: Driving Cap Killer
Current look: Arians is a bit of an anomaly in this list as he is the only one that is known more for his style when he’s away from the sidelines every Sunday. Arians is the man with the driving cap obsession, going as far as switching from his trusty Kangol brand caps to the NFL endorsed New Era. But unfortunately, the No Fun League lived up to their reputation and banned Arians from wearing his preferred headpiece. For shame.
What he’s doing right: Personally, I’m no fan of the driving cap but I respect a man who sticks to his signature. When it comes to the rest of his game day attire, the red half zip short sleeve anorak with optional layering pieces is his go-to option and the best one for him. The black pants are much more flattering than the khaki pairs he’s worn and the goatee is great for him as opposed to the clean shaven look.
What he’s doing wrong: We officially have an epidemic of terrible khaki pants among NFL coaches. Is there no tailor employed and more importantly, can we get one ASAP? Arians has sported square black frame glasses for awhile, it would be nice to see him change up his look and go for a brushed silver or gold frame as the black is a bit harsh and expected. Embrace metallics Bruce!
What he should be wearing: I say let Bruce Arians be Bruce Arians and the NFL should allow him to wear his New Era-made driving caps in games, not just at team functions and press conferences. He’s already made them in red, black and white - it’s time to let the bald man have his day. And new pants, let there be new pants in the league this season.
Andy Reid
Style signature: Moustachioed Master
Current look: There are few things more dependable than Andy Reid’s sideline look. Mustache? Check. Thin square glasses and a slightly curved fitted hat? Check. Anorak or polo in a half zip? Check mate! The only thing that’s changed for Reid is the color of his team.
What he’s doing right: For all I can fault Reid for he’s found what works for him and his frame. I don’t think anyone would recognize him without the curved brim hat, mustache or frames. I salute his commitment to his look.
What he’s doing wrong: Oh, Andy. The pleated black pants need to be gone yesterday. Anything that adds bulk and extra volume is not your friend. The short sleeve anorak with extra wide sleeves hits at the waist just making Reid look wider. No bueno.
What he should be wearing: It’s all about tailoring, say it loud and proud. A better fit on the polo and anorak would do wonders for Reid as would a better pair of pants. He should try a lighter color on the bottom and red or black only on top to balance out his bigger top half.
Lovie Smith
Style signature: The curved brim maestro
Current look: There is not a man in the NFL that can curve a brim better than Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ Lovie Smith.
What he’s doing right: Mr Smith went to Tampa Bay knowing that he’d be curving his brims just right in Florida and the look work for him. Buccaneer red which has orange under tones works great with his skintone (something we learned when he was with the Bears) and the polo is safe but suitable standard for him.
What he’s doing wrong: I’ve said it before but it bears repeating but Smith could use a tailor. His pants fit him better than most coaches but he needs a break in his pants to show off his often interesting Nikes. The Buccs also are a bit excessive in that they have five official team colors - Buccanneer red, pewter, black, orange and white - and they favor stripes. Smith needs to stay away from the contrast color striped top options as they tend to make his torso look unbalanced in comparison to his bottom half and busy on camera.
What he should be wearing: Smith merely needs to improve upon what he’s working with and stick to a few signature colors, tonal stripes are best when a pattern is involved but solids with minimal branding are his best bet. The curved brims suit him, although he does let the dome flourish on occasion. Switching out the khaki pants to black or pewter would be a nice change to the all khaki sidelines in the NFL. While playing with alternate colors like white and orange in his Nike sneakers would be a good way of showing Buccs spirit without making his outfit too busy.
Sean Payton
Style signature: The Visor King
Current look: Don’t tell Sean Payton that visors are coming back in style because it seems for the Saints’ coach, they’ve never left. He alternates between black and white visors with old gold accents and they never seem to leave his hairline as long as he’s on the sideline.
What he’s doing right: Payton follows the NFL coach standard most of the time sporting a dark top (black) with a light bottom (khaki pants). The crewnecks and more streamlined anoraks suit him best rather than the standard hoodie as the the hood just adds more bulk to him along with the visor and headset. His instinct to stay away from polos is a smart one.
What he’s doing wrong: Like Arians’ driving caps, I can’t say I love visors but they’ve become Payton’s signature. Is it flattering? No, but it is at least functional. The most terrifying style trend we’ve seen Payton embrace lately is the cut off sweatshirt look favoured by the Dark Lord Belichick. Don’t go to dark side, Payton.
What he should be wearing: Payton’s visors aren’t going anywhere despite my chagrin but he needs to continue sporting the more tech-inspired Nike pieces on the field. It’s hot as heck in New Orleans will help keep him cool while the athletic fit his newly adopted Crossfit routine and keeps him looking youthful. It’d be an amazing style moment if Payton were the first head coach to wear a jogger pant, like the Nike TechFit pants on the sidelines. Could old gold colorway sneakers be next?
Name: Mike Tomlin
Style signature: The Accessories Master
Current look: There is not one head coach in the entire NFL that has better accessories than Mike Tomlin. From his aviators collection, to his beard and pendant necklaces - Tomlin is king of sideline swagger.
What he’s doing right: Tomlin makes more right choices than wrong ones, one of my favorites is the letterman-style tech jacket he seems to favour with yellow sleeves and minimal Steelers branding on the front. The full beard rather than the chinstrap or goatee is a stronger look while gold suits him much better than silver, except when it comes to the ultimate trophy, of course.
What he’s doing wrong: Much like Payton, polos do nothing for Tomlin as they don’t fit his frame well at all. Thankfully, he wears them sparingly. Unsurprisingly, all his khaki pants or pants need with pleated need to be burnt.
What he should be wearing: Tomlin should stick with his instincts and embrace his flair for accessories. The (almost) all black outfits with touches of Steelers yellow and gold is the most fashionable look of any coaches in the league. I’d love to see him wear a different pair of shades for every game this season - can someone please get him an eyewear deal?
- Those are my eight picks for the most sartorially interesting head coaches in the NFL. Did I miss anyone you think needs some style help? Here’s to a more stylish sideline this season.
