Full time: Germany 2-3 England
Peep peep! The Spurs/Leicester Collective have come from 2-0 down to beat the world champions! What’s even more encouraging than the result is the performance: intrepid, slick and extremely refreshing. Dele Alli was brilliant, despite missing an open goal, and Kane and Vardy both scored memorable goals.
I just hope that Eric Dier’s late winner doesn’t break the giddyometer, because England’s youngsters could be a lot of fun this summer if they aren’t put under too much pressure. Thanks for your company, night!
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90+3 min Keep telling yourself it’s only a friendly.
It was an outswinger from Henderson, towards the six-yard box. Dier attacked the ball in front of Schurrle and thumped a header past Neuer at the near post. This is ridiculous.
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GOAL! Germany 2-3 England (Dier 90+1)
Rudiger heads behind for another England corner. There will be three added minutes. Henderson, who has had a storming second half, takes it – and DIER SCORES! Unbelievable!
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90 min One thing England have done very well tonight is press high up the pitch. In fact they have probably defended better in Germany’s half than in their own half.
.@vardy7 becomes the first #lcfc player since Gary Lineker in 1985 to score for @england
— Leicester City (@LCFC) March 26, 2016
Hang on, what about Gary Coatsworth?
87 min I haven’t watched every England game in the last few years, because life is short and precious, but I’d be very surprised if they’ve produced a more refreshing, uplifting performance than this in the last few years.
85 min In a strange way, that miss might be a blessing for Alli and England. Imagine the insufferable, suffocating hype if they had come from 2-0 down to beat the world champions, with the best player on the pitch – a 19-year-old – scoring the winning goal.
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2013 Championship Playoff Semifinal... Harry Kane, Jamie Vardy & Danny Drinkwater on #LCFC's bench.
— Joe Crann (@YesWeCrann) March 24, 2016
Time flies. pic.twitter.com/uTTtFHurlJ
84 min Henderson, 20 yards out, whips a beautiful disguised curler just wide of the left-hand post. And now Dele Alli has missed an open goal! Oh, madon. Vardy nicked the ball in the Germany area, fronted up Neuer and then picked out Alli, who leaned back and sidefooted it over an open net from 12 yards.
83 min Another corner for England, taken by Henderson. It’s headed clear.
82 min You see a lot of those flicks behind the standing leg, but it’s rare to see one as well struck as Vardy’s. It really whistled past Neuer. It might even, as Glenn Hoddle says on ITV, have been his first touch.
81 min Dier is booked for repeat offending. See 39 minutes.
80 min Another Germany substitution: Gotze on, Gomez off. Germany have falsified their nine.
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79 min This comeback is the best and worst thing that has happened to this young England team. It will give them enormous belief, but it will also mean that the whole country will BELIEVE. And you know what that means.
2-2. Give Leicester the title now. Because there will be riots if they don't win it and I'll be at the front with the flaming torch.
— Danny Baker (@prodnose) March 26, 2016
77 min Schurrle’s excellent deep cross finds Ozil in far too much space on the left of the box, but he completely mishits his right-footed volley.
76 min Lukas Podolski has come on for someone or other.
GOAL! Germany 2-2 England (Vardy 74)
Jamie Vardy has equalised with a brilliant goal! Barkley moved the ball to the overlapping Clyne on the right; he clipped a fast cross to the near post, where Vardy flicked a half-volley behind his standing foot that flew past Neuer. What a way to get your first England goal!
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73 min Kane wafts an ambitious long-range curler a few yards wide of the far post. England look the likelier scorers at the moment. Mind you, we all remember Romania 1998.
72 min A double substitution for England: Vardy and Barkley replace Welbeck and Lallana.
71 min “Imagine England were to approach the Euros the way they have approached this game,” says Gerard Scott. “They might not win but it could be their 2006 World Cup - a calling card.”
69 min A Zorro swish of passes from England ends with Alli’s low shot being saved the left foot of Neuer. Lovely stuff again. I suspect the last pass was intended for someone other than Alli, but everything else was deliberate and there was a lovely blur of passing and movement.
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Wonderful goal from Harry Kane. Just need to sort out the central defence. Need Stones to realise his potential. Ball player there is vital.
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) March 26, 2016
67 min A free-kick to England, 25 yards out. Kane takes it, and stings the flesh of someone in the wall.
65 min “England maybe playing fairly well,” says Harry May, “but losing is still losing - and is that what we really want?”
Well it beats being boring and losing, which is what they’ve done for the last decade. And they are playing the world champions, away from home, with a team of kids. This is the most refreshing England performance in years.
64 min A substitution: Schurrle on, Reus off.
GOAL! Germany 2-1 England (Kane 61)
What a terrific goal from Harry Kane! An England corner was half cleared and came to Kane. He was on the edge of the box, facing away from goal – but then he produced a delicious Cruyff turn to lose two defenders before dragging a precise low shot across goal and in off the far post. Even without the turn it was a very accomplished finish.
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59 min Ozil has a chance to make it 3-0 but mishits his shot from 15 yards, which allows Forster to make a comfortable save. If England aren’t careful this could get grisly, which would be a shame because they have played some hugely encouraging football.
GOAL! Germany 2-0 England (Gomez 57)
For all England’s attacking excellence, they have been poor defensively and now they are 2-0 down. Khedira flights a classy chip towards Gomez, who gets between Cahill and Clyne to plant an accomplished header back across Forster and into the bottom corner. That’s his first goal in international football since 1971.
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55 min Welbeck mugs Can, who was trying to let the ball go out for a goalkick on the left of the box. Then he gets his head up and sidefoots it invitingly towards Henderson, whose first-time shot from 12 yards deflects off a defender for a corner. That was a crucial interception.
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54 min When England lost 4-1 to Germany at the 2010 World Cup, Dele Alli was 14 years old.
“BORING !!!” says Elizabeth Earp. “Is this the best that England do?” You what? They’ve been brilliant.
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53 min Alli, on the edge of the area, tries a scoop over the top for Lallana that is intercepted. He’s turning this match into his personal TV show.
52 min Smalling redeems his own error on the edge of the box with a vital tackle. The ball goes to the other end of the field, where Alli’s fierce low shot from 20 yards is pushed away by the diving Neuer. It was a lovely strike and a good save.
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51 min England lost 3-1 in Germany in 1987. Just look at this glorious tackle from Peter Reid that led to their goal.
50 min A dipping, inswinging free-kick from Reus, 40 yards out, is pawed over by Forster. It was a wicked ball, which kicked viciously off the pitch, and Forster did well in the end.
49 min Germany have started the second half with some sterile domination – lots of possession but all in front of England.
VIDEO Kyle Walker beats Ross Barkley at rock paper scissors… get those balls, Ross! #GERENG https://t.co/CsKaGIKr9a
— ITV Football (@itvfootball) March 26, 2016
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Actually conceding that goal doesn't alter England's main task tonight.
— Danny Baker (@prodnose) March 26, 2016
And that is to flog a few of those fucking awful kits for Nike.
48 min “Dele Alli is the Jos Buttler of English football,” says Phil Harrison. “There’s a comparison I reckon you’ll be able to get behind! Not just a potentially world-class talent but a slightly unusual, slightly un-English world-class talent.”
Well, you could argue that any world-class talent is un-English. But yeah, I know what you mean. He has the courage not to be ordinary.
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47 min “Are you seriously trying to insinuate (39 min) that Can’s foul warranted a red card?” says Rudolf Groß. “Why are you writing such nonsense?”
No. I was saying that, were this a competitive game, he’d have been booked for the earlier foul (30 min) and that it would have been a second yellow card. But thanks as ever for the respectful correspondence.
46 min England begin the second half. Germany have brought on the giant centre-back Jonathan Tah for his debut. He replaces Mats Hummels.
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Half-time chit-chat
“Now that England are losing, please disregard my previous email,” writes Ed Wilson. “How anyone expects these gussied-up fops to summon the patriotic fervour necessary to resist the Nationalmannschaft is beyond me.”
“There’s plenty of drinks on the at half-time menu tonight,” says Tim Daly. “Players Can choose between a Forsters lager, a Stones bitter, a Walkers ale and for the tea-totallers there’s either Milner’s Ginger Ale, Rose’s Lime Cordial or a glass of plain old Drinkwater.”
Half time: Germany 1-0 England
Germany almost make it two with the last attack of the half. Reus on the left of the box cuts the ball back beautifully to Gomez, whose low shot is desperately blocked by Rose.
With that, the whistle blows. England were excellent, yet could easily be 3-0 down. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.
Butland is being stretchered off, with both hands over his head. He doesn’t seem to be in serious pain – at least not physical pain, but his expression suggests he knows he’s done something fairly bad.
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GOAL! Germany 1-0 England (Kroos 43)
Er, saying which. This is dumb luck for Jack Butland, who definitely is not having fun. He kicked the ball clear and immediately starting limping. A few seconds later the ball came to Toni Kroos, who ran unchallenged to within 25 yards of goal and then drilled a very good swerving shot into the bottom corner at the near post. Butland might have saved it if he was fit, and he punched the ground angrily. Now he’s struggling to hold back tears, and is going to be replaced by Fraser Forster.
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42 min The best thing about this England performance is that they look like they are having fun.
39 min Can is booked for a foul on Welbeck, who was breaking dangerously down the left. A yellow card in a friendly usually equates to a red in a competitive game.
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38 min Kane plays an excellent ball to Welbeck, whose shot is brilliantly blocked by Can, coming round on the blindside. It deflects to Lallana, who wafts an excellent chance over the bar from 15 yards. That chance came from England winning the ball high up the field, as they have a few times tonight.
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35 min If England aren’t extremely careful they are going to develop into a useful side. In a quiet way, this first 35 minutes has been hugely encouraging.
31 min Kane’s snapshot from the edge of the box, on the stretch, goes high over the bar. England look really sharp, and Alli has been the best player on the pitch. His swagger in such esteemed company is vaguely reminiscent of Paul Gascoigne at Italia 90.
30 min Alli plays a give and go with Kane and is cynically fouled by Can. That’s three such fouls from the Germany defenders, which would be yellow cards in a competitive match.
28 min The ball bounces nicely for Henderson, 25 yards from goal, so he does the decent thing and tries to score a worldie screamer. He doesn’t manage that, obviously, but it’s a pretty good effort that goes only a few yards wide of the far post.
27 min Gomez has a goal wrongly disallowed for offside. He made a good run onto Khedira’s angled through pass and drove it emphatically into the far corner. He was halfway through his celebration when he realised the flag was up. It shouldn’t have been – Clyne was playing him onside.
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25 min Hummels brazenly bodychecks the advancing Welbeck but the referee plays the advantage with Kane making progress down the right. He muscles the defender aside but then, like Clyne a few minutes earlier, pulls his low cross behind the England players in the area.
24 min A nifty backflick from Alli reinforces the sense that this is just another game for him. He is the best thing to happen to English football in a fair while.
22 min “This new kit taps into a long tradition of England dandyism, from Beau Brummell to Carnaby Street,” writes our Dandyism Correspondent Ed Wilson. “If this electric blue hosiery can’t encourage some flair and imagination, then surely nothing can?”
You should see what they’ll be wearing against the Netherlands next week.
19 min A promising England break involving Lallana and Welbeck ends when Clyne pulls his low cross just behind Lallana in the area. England’s performance in the first 20 minutes reminds me a bit of David O’Leary’s Leeds. No, that was a compliment.
17 min Welbeck miscontrols an awkward pass from Henderson, 25 yards from goal. Alli roars onto the loose ball and wallops a rising half-volley a few yards over the bar. It was beautifully struck.
16 min “Funny feeling to tonight’s game,” says Andy Bradshaw. “Tt’s an England side I want to watch. I’m intrigued how Roy will bugger it up come summer.” He’ll probably omit Mark Noble.
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14 min Cahill drills a superb long 60-yard pass to Alli, just inside the area. He was through on goal, but defenders were getting back so he tried a headed lob – a mirror image of this – that went straight through to Neuer. He might have had time to take it down on the chest, though it was pretty tight.
Friendlies are hard enough to engage with. When both sides change their kits so they look unrecognisable it cheapens them even more. #Status
— Danny Baker (@prodnose) March 26, 2016
13 min Can flings a cross towards Gomez, whose header hits the challenging Cahill and goes behind for a corner. That leads to a couple of chances for Germany: first Butland does well to beat Hummels to Gomez’s knockdown, and then Reus drags wide of the near post from 15 yards.
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12 min There’s a cracking atmosphere in Berlin. You’d almost think it was Saturday evening and that everyone had been drinking pints of Liquid Emboldener all day!
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10 min England will be pleased with this start. They haven’t created anything really, but they have been busy and fearless.
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Can't think of a worse England strip.
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) March 26, 2016
7 min England have looked good in possession in the first few minutes, and now they have their first corner. Henderson’s outswinger is won in the air by Cahill on the penalty spot, but his header flashes across goal and out of play via Kane’s attempted scorpion kick. Kane was offside anyway, and Cahill’s original header was going wide of the far post.
4 min The first chance falls to Germany. Butland’s clearance to the halfway line comes straight back at England. A couple of seconds later, after a ricochet on the edge of the box, Khedira has the chance to shoot and it deflects off the stretching Clyne for a corner. That was an important block.
3 min A scruffy start, nothing to report. You’re welcome!
1 min Germany kick off from right to left. They are wearing a hideous grey and green kit; England are in red with blue socks. That’s hideous too, in truth.
A few German fans not observing the period of silence for the victims of Brussels.
— Henry Winter (@henrywinter) March 26, 2016
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There’s an un-friendly atmosphere in Berlin, with both sets of supporters making lusty use of their vocal chords during the anthems.
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Pre-match music
Here’s a fine tribute to Johan Cruyff, football’s greatest architect in more ways than one.
(Correction: football’s second greatest architect.)
I'm an Astronaut 👊 https://t.co/WvaFjSxWuO
— Lovejoy (@timlovejoy) March 26, 2016
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England start with 4 Spurs players for 1st time since 29 April 1987 when Hoddle, Mabbutt, Hodge, Clive Allen & Waddle started versus Turkey.
— Infostrada Sports (@InfostradaLive) March 26, 2016
"He should play for England," Arsene Wenger said in January. But it's too late now. Column on the Alex Iwobi story: https://t.co/gwDdnuWQd9
— Daniel Taylor (@DTguardian) March 26, 2016
Some more pre-match viewing for you
This is how close England were to winning the World Cup in 1990*. There were only a few minutes of extra time remaining when David Platt’s header was disallowed. I reckon Platt was onside, just about, and that it was poor old Gazza who was in an offside position.
* possibly. Oh, and if you’re feeling really bereft, you can relive the whole game with this retro minute-by-minute report.
An email from David Wall
“With Hodgson being widely criticised for not picking Mark Noble in the build up to these matches, why do people continue to accept some caricature of him as an unsophisticated no-nothing who is blinded by the glamour of players from the ‘big’ clubs?
“Those people assuming that it’s Vardy who is most likely to be cut from the squad in the summer because he plays for Leicester seem to have forgotten that it was Hodgson who picked him at the end of last season after a pretty ordinary season, presumably because he saw some potential to add something to the team. And though now it’s obvious that Deli Alli is a future world-beater and nailed on to start in France it certainly wasn’t when Roy gave him his debut against the French a few months ago.
“Indeed, there was more criticism about giving away England caps too easily than applause for promoting a burgeoning talent. Someone might dislike the manager for various, justified reasons, but it would make a nice change if this was based on the facts rather than merely a misleading, cliched image of what he is like.”
Yep, fair point. I’m not sure what else to say!
Some pre-match viewing for you
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The teams
Germany (4-2-3-1) Neuer; Can, Rudiger, Hummels, Hector; Kroos, Khedira; Muller, Ozil, Reus; Gomez.
Subs: Leno, Schurrle, Mustafi, Rudy, Podolski, Ginter, Gotze, Kramer, Draxler, Bellarabi, Tah, Volland, ter Stegen, Trapp.
England (4-2-3-1) Butland; Clyne, Smalling, Cahill, Rose; Dier, Henderson; Lallana, Alli, Welbeck; Kane.
Subs: Walker, Forster, Walcott, Stones, Jagielka, Milner, Drinkwater, Vardy, Barkley, Sturridge, Heaton.
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Hello, good evening and that's enough of the small talk
Spain, then France, now Germany. England’s first three friendlies since qualifying for Euro 2016 are against the three teams most likely to win Euro 2016. What’s Roy up to? What’s his angle? Some will say it’s his way of lowering expectations, and that tonight’s 4-0 humiliation will do that so successfully that by the time England go out to Portugal on penalties in the quarter-finals, a nation will be demanding that Sir Roy should arise.
The alternative interpretation is that if England win tonight, or lose bravely, they will reinforce the growing sense that they are dangerous floaters in possibly the weakest European Championship ever. Whatever happens, it should be fun, not least because of the presence of Jordan Henderson four young Spurs players in the starting line-up: Danny Rose, Eric Dier, Dele Alli and Harry Kane.
A strong Spurs means a strong England, said nobody, ever, but most of England’s best sides of the last 30-odd years have had a strong Spurs influence: Waddle and Hoddle in 1986, Gascoigne and Lineker in 1990, Anderton and Sheringham in 1996, Anderton and Campbell in 1998. What could it all mean? Nothing, probably, but the nostalgia is making me feel warm and fuzzy.
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Rob will be along shortly. In the meantime why not have a read of Daniel Taylor’s preview of this one:
When Roy Hodgson leads out his team in the Olympiastadion for arguably the most challenging assignment of their Euro 2016 warmup programme, it will be probably a reflection of the changing times at the top of the Premier League that there will be four Tottenham Hotspur players in his lineup who have started a grand total of seven international fixtures. Harry Kane will account for five of them. Dele Alli and Eric Dier have managed one apiece. Danny Rose will be making his England debut and anyone who has ever accused Hodgson of being scared to experiment might have to scratch the allegation off the list.
He has certainly selected an inexperienced side bearing in mind the White Hart Lane quartet, with substitute appearances included, have won 14 caps altogether. Six of his players have started fewer than a dozen England games and the entire XI has managed 161 caps. Germany, to put that in context, go through the 200 mark just with Manuel Neuer, Thomas Müller and Mesut Özil, three of their World Cup winners.
Read the full piece here.
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