George Osborne, unlike his immediate superior, has been known to tell the occasional joke that is actually funny. Picking up the copy of Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book that had just been thrown over the despatch box at him by Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell and declaring, ‘Look, it’s his personal signed copy,’ was the best gag in the chamber last year.
Last night he gave the after dinner speech at the Westminster Correspondents’ Dinner and disappointingly, he did not disappoint.
“Chancellors have always had a difficult relationship with food,” he said. “Nigel Lawson published his own diet book. Gordon Brown binged on Kit Kats. I can reveal tonight I have my own nutrition plan. It’s called the 5:2. After 2 out of every 5 Budgets I eat some of my own words.
“Putting together the seating plan must have been a real nightmare.” he said. “The referendum means we’re all arguing amongst ourselves. The Canadian model, the Albanian model, the Ukrainian model...and that’s just John Whittingdale’s table.”
The Culture Secretary laughed and, somehow, did not go red. “I’ve never seen so many political journalists gathered in one place since you were all crowded around that locked disabled toilet earlier today. I doubt there’s been a bigger collection of egos in one room since John Bercow dined here alone.”
Cabinet ministers and Labour Party MPs hosted tables for journalists who work in Westminster, though not many of Labour’s senior leadership were there.
“We’re joined by the various factions of the Labour Party. Stephen Kinnock, the united front. Rachel Reeves, the popular front. Emily Thornberry, the less popular front. And Chris Bryant, the Y-front,” he said. Chris Bryant, you may or may not recall, once posted pictures of himself in his underpants on Gaydar.
The event is in its third year, and is meant to be a British version of the rather more famous White House Correspondent’s Dinner, which is attended by countless celebrities and business people and is televised live.
The Daily Mail’s former Political Editor James Chapman became the Chancellor’s Director of Communications after last year’s election. It was widely speculated last night that Mr Osborne may have had some gentle assistance with his material.
