Geordie Shore star Ricci Guarnaccio says he had suicidal thoughts after his split from Vicky Pattison.
The 32-year-old met Vicky when he joined the cast of the MTV show in 2012 and they later got engaged.
They split in 2013 after what Ricci called a "volatile" relationship filled with "constant fighting".
He says he was left with crippling anxiety and depression after their split and even had suicidal thoughts.
Ricci told the Daily Star : "I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. But for a lot of the time I didn’t know what the situation was between us. I worried I couldn’t trust her, which gave me anxiety.
Ricci Guarnaccio swaps Geordie Shore fame for silver screen in horror movie Boar
"Then I started to get bad thoughts... suicidal ones and things like that. It builds up.
"There was so much pressure and so much s**t. I just couldn’t be bothered anymore."
Ricci says their relationship playing out in front of the cameras on Geordie Shore made it even more difficult, and he says he didn't know what he was getting in to because it was the first show he'd done.
He was dropped from the show after the split, but the exes later appeared together on another MTV show, Ex on the Beach.
Ricci says leaving the show made his life spiral out of control.
He said he'd went from being "on a high" because he was in love and engaged to having to deal with it being over and with losing his spot on the reality show as well.
Ricci says he hit rock bottom and turned to booze.
He said drinking so much vodka and wine left him with suicidal thoughts.
Ricci says he now hasn't seen Vicky for four years and wants nothing to do with her.
He's recently branched out into acting and has a role in Australian horror Boar.
Mirror Online has contacted Vicky's representatives for comment.
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