Today’s harangue starts with a one-question pop quiz, and don’t worry, it’s multiple choice.
Who is Brandon Hyde?
A) The horned, shirtless, Capitol occupier.
B) The notorious McKeesport headshop owner.
C) The fourth or fifth meteorologist on Channel 4.
D The manager of the Baltimore Orioles.
This being the Sunday sports section and you being nobody’s fool, you likely answered D, and you would be correct. When baseball returns Thursday, Brandon Hyde will start his third season at the helm of the Orioles, widely rumored to be worse than the Pirates, should such a thing be possible. Torey Lovullo, if you’re curious, is the name of the horned, shirtless Capitol occupier.
No wait, Torey Lovullo is actually the manager of the Arizona Diamondbacks.
In any case, this is exactly what baseball is worried about, that you’ve pretty much stopped paying attention now that the game has slowly ground to a halt. A once glorious art form of equal parts power, grace and strategy, it’s now better defined as two guys playing catch while eight others stand around, one of whom is holding a large stick for purposes that are not often apparent.
Habitues of this column know that for going on 20 years, I’ve lamented the potentially corrosive effects of hyper-analyzing the game, warning that there are threats to baseball because of the way it was evolving, that executives were taking too much time using analytics to try to optimize individual and team performance, only to negatively impact the aesthetic value of the game and the entertainment value of the game.
Then, after last season, the game’s best club executive, Theo Epstein, stepped down from running the Cubs. On his way out the door, Epstein said, “It’s the greatest game in the world, but there are some threats to it because of the way the game is evolving, and I take some responsibility for that because the executives like me who have spent a lot of time using analytics to try to optimize individual and team performance have unwittingly had a negative impact on the aesthetic value of the game, and the entertainment value of the game.”
See?
The guy who turned around historically luckless and even hopeless franchises like the Red Sox and Cubs also said, “Clearly the strikeout rate’s a little bit out of control, and we need to find a way to get more action in the game, get the ball in play more often, allow players to show their athleticism some more, and give fans more of what they want,” Epstein added.
Thursday of last week, the Padres (managed by Jayce Tingler) tweeted out a staggering, little known stat about the late, great Tony Gwynn, winner of eight National League batting titles. Not generally remembered for his base stealing, Gwynn still had five seasons in which he had more stolen bases than strikeouts.
In its last full season before the pandemic, baseball set a new strikeout record for the 12th consecutive summer as nearly 42,000 batters brought a large stick to the plate for no apparent purpose. Teams averaged almost nine strikeouts per game, a third of their allotted outs. In 1995, Gwynn struck out 15 times in 577 plate appearances. In the game we’ve come to know and no longer love, guys can and do strike out 15 times in a week.
So baseball comes to 2021 with all manner of insecurities, and just about every last one of them is reflected in experiments at various minor league levels scheduled for this summer. If you missed it, at one level, the bases will be bigger, 18-inch squares instead of the standard 15 inches. Ostensibly to increase stolen bases and bunt singles and cut down on collisions (yes, people don’t like collisions, which is why the NFL is the most popular thing in America). Here’s a thought: Instead of making the bases bigger, make the baseballs bigger. Make the bats fatter.
At another level, defenses must situate four infielders in the, uh, infield, rather than have them stand anywhere they damn well please. If this increases the action, the experiment might further include restricting to two the number of infielders who can be stationed on either side of second base. I like it.
At another level, pickoff attempts by the pitcher, or “step offs” will be limited to two per plate appearance. If you attempt a pickoff throw twice before striking out the guy at the plate, you can throw twice more before the second guy strikes out, and so on. Not sure I like it.
At the Low A level, robot umpires will be used to assist the home plate umps. I hate it. What’s the calculable distance between robot umpires and robot players? Somebody at CMU probably knows. Replay has virtually scrubbed the game free of the always entertaining on-field arguments with umpires, replacing that with interminable thumb-sucking replay reviews which may or may not “get it right.” Hey, life ain’t always right. Get over it.
In still other minor league places, pitch timers will be used this summer. Pitch timers are vehemently opposed by the Major League Players Association, and much like everything else that union hates, I love it.
Finally, it was announced this week that Major League exec Michael Hill is the game’s new vice president for baseball operations and discipline, meaning in part that he’ll oversee a program to cut down on pitchers “doctoring” the ball with foreign substances, such as pine tar, which can increase the ball’s spin rate, often leading to the one thing the game doesn’t need, more strikeouts.
Baseball plans to monitor a pitcher’s spin rate through Statcast, and any significant increase could lead to inspection by a third-party lab of balls taken out of the game. Pitchers found culpable will be disciplined, and finally, game-day compliance officers will monitor dugouts, batting cages and bullpens for violations of the foreign substance rules while filing daily reports of their observations with the league office.
One question there. Can I get that job? I’ll wear a tie, bring a magnifying glass and maybe a pine tar-sniffing dog.
