Gemma Collins broke down in tears and confessed she felt suicidal after breaking up with James 'Arg' Argent.
Gemma became emotional on Piers Morgan's Life Stories and said the pair had been very happy but that "the drugs changed him as a person."
Gemma said through tears: "I fought everyday for three years to get him well.
"I have felt suicidal when my relationship broke down with Arg, I just thought I don't want to be here anymore.
"I had this insatiable love for him, but the relationship turned very sour because of the drugs."
Gemma suffered a miscarriage last year and told Piers that if she'd had the baby James wouldn't have deserted her and things could have been different.
Piers asked her if the couple would ever get back together and she said: "If we move on from the past probably yeah, he's the love of my life basically."
In the candid interview Gemma also said she had often faced abuse on social media and in real life.
Gemma said: "Some people started abusing me when I was taking my mum for lunch, I'm used to it, but I didn't want my mum to hear it."
Gemma also admitted she had previously self harmed after going through a termination when she was 20.
Speaking to Pier she said: "I had a lovely boyfriend and we lived in a lovely home, I was pregnant but in my three month scan they said my baby would be deformed, so I had to make a decision."
Following the termination Gemma's boyfriend left her and she started to self harm and eat excessively.
She said: "I was probably desperately unhappy I was 20, 21, I've still got scars on my wrist now.
"I'd just get a knife and start cutting, I'm well out of it now and I've never tried to pursue that again.
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"I should have had therapy at the time, it can happen to anyone."
In a lighter part of the interview Gemma admitted that she had earned well over a million pounds for being The GC.
She said she was only allowed to spend £3,000 a month after her dad took over control of her finances after she spent £50,000 in two months.
But she said she had earned £75,000 on Black Friday from her social media posts.
She said: "I went out and wasted the money but I had a good time on it."
*Piers Morgan's Life Stories continues at 9pm on ITV on Thursday
