“Do not let this opportunity pass by” demanded Rio Ferdinand. “This is a huge, huge opportunity. Go out there and grab it. Do not let it pass. Make the most of it”, added Alan Shearer.
There’s vomit on their sweaters already. Mom’s spaghetti.
In his pre-match interview, Gareth Southgate stressed the importance of moving on from the past. At least I think that’s what he said. I was struggling to hear him over the sound of England fans singing ‘Ten German Bombers’.
For every up there’s a down. For every classic night out there’s a hangover. For every day of 14 goals, Emma Hayes and Ally McCoist, there’s an England match soundtracked by Jermaine Jenas.
One of a co-commentator’s duties is to spot what viewers might miss, and you can’t fault Jenas in that respect. While your average fan might have been impressed with Mats Hummels’ first-half performance, Jenas repeatedly recognised the solid defending of “Max Hummels”.
Shortly before half-time the camera helpfully picked out Ed Sheeran in the crowd, on the off chance viewers had forgotten to support Germany.
Pitchside reporter Kelly Somers told a victorious Southgate that “All the talk this week has been about the past. You’ve put that to bed now”.
Well, they’re no longer talking about nineteen ninety -six...
“It’s not only 1966 they last won something. It’s 1966 when they last got to a final” said Gary Lineker, who had earlier turned to Jurgen Klinsmann and remarked: “If only the Germans had a name for schadenfreude”.
If only the English had a word for ‘Fünf Minuten ohne 1966 zu erwähnen, bitte Gary’.
Would Lineker be able to sign off without combining his two loves of England and excruciating puns? “It’s coming Rome ”. No. No he would not.
The commentator assumed viewers only wanted to hear about England, despite there being two teams on the pitch. And, Jonathan Pearce, those two teams were Sweden and Ukraine.
Prior to that match, the BBC showed a clip of Will Ferrell giving the Swedish side a pep talk. At least there was one Anchorman not banging on about 1966.
