Gareth Barry

"Gareth turned up for work in suitably swish garb, a super Villan through and through," chortles Dinesh Vijayan. Photograph: reader

Blake Gladman keeps it simple. "Gareth and Stevie, best of friends." Photograph: reader

"Well, it was a good few days at the office for Stevie and Gareth," giggles Stewart Allan. Photograph: reader

The Gallery's art knowledge extends to knowing that this Daniel Norton effort is a Francis Bacon painting, but not much more. "It was vanity that made me choose painting, vanity and chance." Photograph: readers

Here's Rick Howell: "Gareth's autobiography takes you on a journey from the wilderness and isolation of the left to the glory of the middle ground and McClaren's 'third way'... foreword by Tony Blair." Photograph: re

"I've been in a long and not really fulfilling relationship before, but when I met Gareth it was love at first sight!" said the happy groom. Magda Szopa gets all misty-eyed at the thought of the England midfield's happy couple. Photograph: re

"As Messrs Lampard and Hargreaves find their unwieldy Bentleys stuck in traffic, humble Gareth gets the job done, weaving through the midfield queues to claim the England No7 shirt as his own," cackles Chris Ansom. Photograph: re

Will Taylor has taken Gareth's international resurrection literally. Photograph: re

Forget your Lenins and Stalins, John Barry reckons his namesake Gareth is the new strongman of the left. Photograph: re

Yikes! It's alive! Dr McClarenstein has cobbled together Gareth and Barry to transform England's midfield. Well, according to Sparky McManus at least. Photograph: re

Christopher Mason missed our deadline by five minutes for this one, but we're a day late, so we'll let him off. Photograph: e

Gareth's square jaw makes him a half-decent Superman. Except he can't fly and that. Photograph: re