A daring pensioner on a wild heist, Beefeaters, corgis, the Queen, and a dollop of fart jokes … what more English way could there be to celebrate the lifting of lockdown?
Alton Towers has not just thrown off the necessary shackles of the Covid restrictions, it has come up with a new ride, in a new corner of the park that is devoted to the works of fabulously popular children’s author David Walliams.
Gangsta Granny: The Ride is faithful to Walliams’ best-selling story of a sweet old lady who has more life in her than at first evident, and ends up leading grandson Ben in an audacious attempt to steal the Crown Jewels.
And with the artwork on the ride faithful to Tony Ross’ book illustrations, Walliams fans will be delighted with the adventure - and they can even stay in one of the new Gangsta Granny-themed rooms at the Alton Towers Resort, for the full Walliams treatment.
For the normal thrill-seekers at Alton Towers, it is one to miss, a thrill-free tootle through the sewers and the Tower of London before a police chase through the streets of London that manages to be fun without frightening the little ones.
Our 11-year-old tester liked Walliams Land, especially Raj’s Bouncy Bottom Burp and the shop's adverts for “used tissues” and “pre-sucked sweets” - the kind of stuff that has made Walliams a natural successor to Roald Dahl - but was not overly impressed with the ride itself, perhaps an indication that he's at the older end of the ride's target audience.
There is no interaction as you board a carriage for a Crown Jewels tour but then stumble upon Gangsta Granny and her henchboy as they seek to sneak the priceless items from under the noses of the Beefeaters and bearskin-hatted Guards.
Before you know it, you are dropping down into the sewers beneath London, facing a firing cannon, swimming beneath the Thames and then hurtling along the Embankment with the police in hot pursuit - all without any speed, or sensation of speed, for any worried little ones.
Gangsta Granny is not the only thing new at the theme park, which will also spend the summer celebrating Mardi Gras - presumably because the Staffordshire weather is not quite as welcoming as New Orleans in February.
So a wander around the attractions means you will meet street performers and artists in exotic costumes, as well as being able to sample a wide range of street foods and dance along to a stage show.
For more information, visit www.altontowers.com
