On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me …
12 random sex scenes,
11 bearskin coats,
10 topless women,
Nine scenes of torture,
Eight scheming henchmen,
Seven kingdoms of Westeros,
Six shocking plot twists,
FIVE … original books!
Four counts of incest,
Three flying dragons,
Two surprise beheadings,
… and one really weird one-eyed crow!
(NB: Monkey would not bet a bunch of bananas on the accuracy of these numbers …)
