As you get older, exercise becomes more of a requirement, both for mental health and for your body. In his book What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, Haruki Murakami mentions how grateful he is that he has to run to keep weight off. One side-effect is that he has a healthy heart but, he notes, many naturally skinny people don’t have the same impetus to exercise so miss out on the many benefits. That’s a brilliant observation.
It was while pregnant with my first child – a daughter, now aged 18 – that I started to pay closer attention to my health and to exercising properly. I took up yoga and, maybe because it didn’t seem much like exercise (especially the lying down bit at the end), I stuck with it. Nearly 20 years later it is still a part of my routine – you feel all holier-than-thou when you say you do yoga.
Running has also been a big part of my life. I had my second child at 31, and six months later I just couldn’t shift the last bit of weight. I turned to a personal trainer, who made me put a bin bag under my tracksuit to help me sweat more – not something I’d recommend now. He took me running over the hills near the house. Within three weeks I’d lost three-quarters of a stone.
But it wasn’t until three years later, when I split up with my husband, that I started running properly. It cleared my head and stopped me thinking about why it had all gone wrong. Soon, I had signed up for the London marathon. Training was fun,
but the race itself was stressful – for reasons you probably wouldn’t expect. Everyone is running for charity and for an over-thinker like me, it was hell. Lots of people were wearing vests saying: “Doing it for Dad”, so I was close to tears for the first mile. Someone running for a cervical cancer charity ran by and I was thinking: “Oh God. I must get myself checked.” When Lupus UK ran by, I was like: “Lupus? What the hell is Lupus? Can I get that?” It was almost a relief when testicular cancer went past.
I first began to think my body was ageing while I was pregnant with my third child at 37. I felt as if my eyesight was becoming worse, but when I raised it with my doctor he told me not to worry too much as the hormone relaxin relaxes all the muscles in your body during pregnancy. “Even in my EYES?” I wailed.
Now I’m that bit older, I notice a few more changes. In particular, the time lapse between: “Oh, I need to go to the bathroom” and “Gah, I’m about to wet myself” is down to roughly 15 seconds.
Before lockdown, I spent an afternoon trying out a chair that uses electromagnets to administer 11,000 pelvic floor contractions in 28 minutes – and I really did notice a difference. I don’t think I did 11,000 throughout three whole pregnancies.
I am up for trying all kinds of exercise though. I am now also a huge fan of wild swimming and will do my best to jump into cold water at any opportunity. It really helps to get the blood pumping.
I have reason to be grateful I’ve stuck to my exercises. Four years ago, I had the strangest feeling in my hands. They went numb, then tingly. After tests, I was told I had osteoarthritis at the base of my spine and neck, which was trapping nerves affecting my hands. My consultant told me he was curious that I wasn’t in significant pain and could walk around easily. “What do you do to keep healthy?” I wasn’t sure what to answer. “Well, I drink too much red wine and do yoga mostly,” I said.
He told me to “keep doing that then”. So, I do.
As incontinence affects one in three women over 35, we should all be having more open conversations about this everyday condition that impacts women of all ages. Find out more at tena.co.uk/ageless
