Gabriel Agbonlahor

Will Wilson reckons Gabriel Agbonlahor will do just about anything to ensure he's on the flight to South Africa Photograph: n/a

"As hard as the Professor of Football tried, he couldn’t fit Agbonglahor in," chuckles Jason Froggett Photograph: n/a/Gabriel Agbonlahor - The Gallery

"Gabby as Sleepy, one of the seven dwarfs. He does always look a bit dazed and confused as if he's just woken up." Thomas Nycz-Losi offers this unflattering opinion Photograph: n/a

"With so many English strikers, Agbonglahor often struggles for Fabio Capello's attention," notes Richard Hooker, who doesn't appear to have ever upgraded from Photoshop v1.01, released back in 1988 Photograph: n/a/n/a

"The lethal combination of power and speed that Martin O'Neil was hoping for didn't quite turn out as planned," slapsticks Jamie Walden. Photograph: n/a

"Vin Diesel Agbonlahor is definitely in the driving seat of the pacy Aston Martin Villa," chuckles Brian Corcoran Photograph: n/a

"Agbonlahor answers his critics," parps Mark Smith, somewhat cryptically Photograph: guardian.co.uk

Finn Connolly just saw Speedy Agbon-zalez dashing up another blind alley Photograph: guardian.co.uk