12.15 Send Effikal out for lunchtime supplies - Sashimi and fizz. Ask her to check round for incoming hot colleagues. She sighs, and says something like: 'Cockies, we've never spotted any lookers outside Observer Love Island, and Lord knows we've tried. What makes you think they're going to start turning up now?' Damn! She might have a point.
1.39 Effikal's not back yet. Is it that hard to locate sushi and champs? Not in my experience. I pass the time by doing yoga in the style of Jayne Middlemass but fall over because a) I don't actually know yoga, and b) I haven't eaten so far and am a touch light headed.
2.15 The deputy editor of cocktails sticks her head round the door to see how things are progressing. I ask her if she's seen any hot colleagues lately. She says no, and asks if I'd like some low carb canapés, which of course I do. She also says she thinks Effikal's gone home for the day. I try calling her mobile, but it clicks onto answer phone. Observer Love Island isn't much fun on your own.
3.02 Hoorah! Effikal's back, and she's bought a dog, a paddling pool, and a photographer called Juan. He's gay but quite handsome, and maybe I can convert him! I knew this was a good idea.
