Frozen gateaux! Intestinal tracts! How well do you know Midsomer Murders?

Tom Barnaby (John Nettles) and Dan Scott (John Hopkins) Photograph: ITV Plc

1. When boorish property magnate Hugh Dalgleish (Tim McInnerny) emerges from a seaside ghost train, holidaymakers are surprised to discover which items on the seat behind him?

   1. His head and cravat

   2. His liver and handkerchief

   3. His heart and panama hat

   4. His intestinal tract and gilet

2. In Dark Secrets (2011), an eccentric pensioner is found dead in her country pile. Who done it, in which room did they done it, and with what weapon did they done it with?

   1. Nigel Havers, in the library, with a potted bamboo

   2. Joss Ackland, in the conservatory, with a framed map of the Dordogne

   3. Edward Fox, in the study, with a pile of Daily Telegraphs

   4. Charles Dance, in the dining room, with a bronze bow tie on a plinth

3. A war memorial service in Midsomer Parva takes an unexpected turn when retired colonel Henry Hammond’s wheelchair hurtles into …

   1. A 15kg cylinder of butane

   2. The mayor’s wife

   3. A passing milk float

   4. Celebrity racehorse Mrs Bakewell’s Fancy

4. When the naked corpse of a petty criminal is found in a cornfield, whom do villagers blame?

   1. Feminists

   2. Aliens

   3. Badgers

   4. The Japanese

5. Who flattens hapless eco-squatter Finn Thornberry in series 19 opener The Village That Rose From the Dead?

   1. A vet in a steamroller

   2. A solicitor in a tank

   3. A butler in a motorised bathtub

   4. A herbalist in a Vauxhall Astra

6. In 2013 episode Schooled in Murder, how does guest star Martine McCutcheon snuff it?

   1. A midwife cudgels her with a frozen gateau

   2. A teacher bludgeons her with a wheel of cheese

   3. A librarian suffocates her with a side of pork

   4. The vice-chairwoman of the local knitting circle overpowers her with a tin of shortbread rounds

7. What compels mousy hotelier Bernice Palfrey (Olivia Colman) to stab a local troublemaker in the gall bladder?

   1. He’d sneezed on a visiting dignitary

   2. He’d urinated on a garden gnome

   3. He’d debagged a barrister in the cricket pavilion

   4. He’d fondled a goth in the model village

8. In Wild Harvest (2014), the residents of Midsomer Wyvern are surprised to learn that dead farmer Martin Strickland had been …

   1. Smeared in goose fat and dismembered by ducks

   2. Slathered in plum jam and stung by wasps

   3. Smothered in tartare sauce and savaged by carp

   4. Steeped in truffle oil and mauled by boars

9. A visit to Plummer’s condiments factory ends in disappointment for executive Dexter Lockwood when his rib cage is crushed between two pallets of relish. But what happens next?

   1. He’s disemboweled in a hydraulic pulp extractor

   2. He’s boiled alive in a glass steriliser

   3. He’s decapitated in a fruit pasteuriser

   4. He’s eviscerated in a vacuum juice evaporator

10. What does DCI Tom Barnaby (John Nettles) say when he learns that an assailant pinned a local historian to a croquet lawn before using a replica Roman trebuchet to pelt his skull with bottles of vintage claret?

    1. “I can’t say I’m particularly surprised.”

    2. “Shame. I’m rather partial to a good Bordeaux.”

    3. “Ah, yes. The old aqua vitae.”

    4. “Someone’s gone to a great deal of trouble over this.”

Solutions

1:A, 2:C, 3:C, 4:B, 5:A, 6:B, 7:D, 8:D, 9:B, 10:D

Scores

1. 7 and above.

   Great score. You are the DCI John Barnaby of the Midsomer Murder's quiz universe. Or maybe you're a murderer. Either way, congratulations!

2. 4 and above.

   A half-hearted well done to you. You know your Burwood Mantle from your Whitcombe Mallet. But you still have much to learn. Write a letter of apology to ITV.

3. 0 and above.

   Bad score. You are a nasty piece of work. Hand yourself in immediately to DCI Tom Barnaby.

• Season 19 is available now on DVD