The tech hound
The tech hound may be looking at you but they’re not actually listening to a word you say. They’re too busy analysing their data – which they’ll share with you at every opportunity. Speed, distance, altitude, vertical drop, crystals captured … friends of the tech hound may want to take their own noise-cancelling headphones on holiday.
The tech hound laughs in the face of unplugging for a digital-free ski break. They have a camera in their helmet, an augmented reality version of the slopes playing in their goggles and smart boots fitted with a wearable device to deliver real-time audio ski coaching tips via an app. They’d be filming it all on their drone if the devices weren’t banned from most ski resorts.
Tips for tech hounds: Check in with your resort to see what tech is on offer before you arrive. For instance, Club Med has introduced digital RFID bracelets, which provide room access and easy payment around the resort property. Perfect for the techy on the slopes.
Resort pick: In Club Med Val d’Isere you get free wifi hotspots all over the resort and even on some ski lifts. The resort also has a digital service that allows you to buy your ski passes on your smartphone, and you can download the resort app to get event information sent straight to your phone.
The show-off
For the show-off, the mountain is a mere background wallpaper in the story of their life, the gondola is a place to do their makeup, and their skis purely a means of transport to push from one epic selfie spot to another. Of which there are so many all around.
They are the 45% who, according to the Club Med ski report 2019/2020, said looking stylish on the slopes was more important than actually being good at skiing or snowboarding.
The show-off works best on bluebird days and hides in the hotel during photographically challenging blizzards or whiteouts. They used to hang out at the snow park taking selfies at the top of the half pipe until someone pushed them off the lip one day. They got stuck in the centre and had to be pulled out by mountain rescue on a skidoo. Still, it made a good Instagram story.
Tips for show-offs: Keep your phone in an inside jacket pocket as close to your body as possible, as cold temperatures will make your battery run out more quickly.
Resort pick: Club Med Val Thorens is the perfect base to tick off the 3 Vallées selfie spot trail.
First-timer
“How hard can it be?” thought the first-timer. They’d seen Ski Sunday and watched a couple of YouTube tutorials on the flight over. The first-timer was used to success, unaccustomed to failure, which might explain why they asked for expert skis at the hire shop. And then proceeded to almost twist a knee when their binding didn’t release during a pile-up, which they themselves had caused by skiing into a group getting off the chairlift.
At least it saved them from taking on the icy black run they were about to attempt, though. The lifties bundled the first-timer back down the way they came, to the safety of the green runs and covered magic carpet. And there they skied, with their bum in the air as is the form for all beginners who don’t have lessons, being overtaken by kids half their size, until the end of their holiday.
Tips for first-timers: Get lessons. There’s no shame in ski school. It’s the quickest way to progress, and even advanced skiers will improve with some tailored tuition. And thanks to Club Med’s partnership with Ecole du Ski Français (ESF), customers get free lessons (available Monday to Friday).
Resort pick: Club Med Grand Massif Samoëns Morillon is a great resort for beginners, with a friendly ski school.
Après-ski royalty
Après-ski royalty does not care about first lifts. They’re not even sure they exist, though they did hear someone mention the concept once. Just before midday is when après-ski royalty likes to head up the mountain to avoid the afternoon lift pass rush. Queues are not their scene at all.
They might do a red run, a quick head-clearer, with a pace and poise that belies the little amount of time they actually spend on snow rather than in the bar. And then it’s time to settle down for lunch at a sunny outdoor deck with a cocktail or two, moving to each new après spot like clockwork with the sun as it shifts around the mountain.
At three, it’s time for the VIP bar at La Folie Douce, where they’ll dance on a table draped in a sea of feather boas. Obvs. As the sun starts to set, après-ski royalty styles it down the mountain and heads home.
Tips for après-ski royalty: Research happy hour slots and the best après spots in advance so you can plan your route with precision.
Resort pick: Club Med Alpe d’Huez is a top resort for après-ski vibes, with one of the finest Folie Douce in the Alps.
The new parents
The new parents stand at the top of the chairlift scratching their heads. They’re sure they’ve forgotten something. Gloves, poles, phone, oh yes, they remember, we have a child now! But it’s OK, she’s in nursery today. Blinking into the morning sun, the dad remembers he left his goggles on the changing mat, while the mum wonders if the white on her jacket is milk, baby sick or snow.
Then they push off – it feels weird at first, but they embrace their newfound freedom, skiing together in the endless white. It’s just like the old days, except this morning they have the slopes to themselves as only new parents and powder hounds are up this early.
They’re exhausted by lunchtime and downing double espressos to get through the afternoon, but they return to their child with a sparkle in their eyes. They only planned to use the odd day of nursery, but they sign their beloved up for the rest of the week.
Tips for new parents: All-inclusive snow trips are a great option for families with young children, thanks to their on-site nurseries, child-friendly meal provision, and day-long kids’ clubs.
Resort pick: Club Med Les Arcs Panorama, where the Club Med has one of the best childcare setups in the Alps.
Club Med, founded in 1950, is the pioneer of the all-inclusive concept, offering nearly 70 premium resorts in stunning locations around the world including North and South America, Caribbean, Asia, Africa, Europe and the Mediterranean.
