The Observer Magazine cover story of 11 January 1970 – ‘The uptight world of air travel’ – optimistically welcomes the arrival of the Boeing 747. ‘This year marks the birth of the age of mass travel – giant airbuses carrying hundreds of passengers across continents and through time zones.’ And then even more optimistically: ‘It’s now possible to envisage a day when families in Britain will buy their own aeroplane instead of a second car.’ (I don’t recall seeing too many ‘My other car’s an aeroplane’ stickers recently.)
But the piece soon brings us down to earth, asking whether it’s a ‘marvellous, relaxed way to travel’ or a ‘tense, irritating experience that will place more and more demands on the human-fatigue factor’. Yes, the exciting, international jet age was barely 12 years old but ‘Flying is uncomfortable, for most people frightening, and often boring.’
The airlines’ rules on food make for grim reading: ‘1 juice or 1 cup of soup or 1 canapé. Bread, crackers and butter. 1 entrée and 2 vegetables, or 1 entrée and one vegetable and 1 salad. 1 piece of fruit, or 1 pastry, or 1 chocolate. Cheese.’
Reason enough to be tempted away from economy. ‘If you choose first class, choose the ones with the best giveaways and food. Air India will put men in smoking jackets and women in a stole.’ The piece also advises that you wear sunglasses ‘because sun can be strong above clouds even in winter’.
The airlines’ view towards guide dogs was rather draconian – they had to be ‘muzzled and drugged’. Still, that’s nothing compared with the treatment of air hostesses. BOAC had ‘compulsory retirement after 10 years’, Lufthansa at 40 and BUA at 35.
Even more remarkably: ‘If your flight is delayed, don’t hesitate to change to another airline: one of the nicest things about international air travel is that an air ticket is more interchangeable than the best travellers’ cheque.’ Or maybe hop into your own aeroplane instead?
