Going up
Wearing a jumper around your shoulders Alexa Chung does it, so all associations of dads on yachts are null and void.
Alberta Ferretti Up in our estimation since we discovered she listens to Rihanna and always has Krug in her fridge. When are we coming over?
Snakeskin wrap dresses for work Abby from Scandal is your reference.
Caliber Clever US jewellery brand that makes designs using the shell casings of bullets found in illegal guns. A percentage of each sale is donated to gun amnesty programmes.
All American High A rediscovered doc following high school students, complete with wedge hair and blue eyeshadow, in 1986. Is there anything we don’t like about that sentence?
Britney as Brangelina’s nanny Rumour has it. We’re praying this happens and TLC makes a series.
Going down
Trainer sock line No one wants whiffy feet, but that telltale line of a trainer sock just ruins the look.
Fiddly swimsuits Avoid fringing, cut-outs and asymmetric straps. We’re all about classic one-pieces.
New TV concepts The X-Files and Crystal Maze are both being rebooted. Just like the 90s but with live tweets.
Festival headdresses Basic is the only word applicable here.
Skimpy sandals 95% of sandals this year are mildly orthopaedic looking.
Eating clean Since Martin Parr and House of Holland’s collab, complete with prints of eggs on toast, white bread, 99s and doughnuts are fashion’s favourite food. Aesthetically, anyway.
