Santa has always been a miraculous kind of a guy. As well as running a global home delivery operation that puts every e-commerce site, courier service and delivery app to shame, he has also constantly changed his image according to different eras and cultures.
Our current version of the podgy, jolly, gift-bearing Santa Claus is quite some distance from his inspiration, Saint Nicholas of Myra – a 4th-century Greek bishop in a small town in what is now Turkey. That chap, who may or may not have had a white beard, was known for spending years in prison for his Christian faith as well as protecting orphans, sailors and prisoners.
Still, he was associated with miracles, and his birthday on 6 December was soon celebrated with a feast of presents. The Dutch brought him with them to their American colonies, and there he mutated into the red and ruddy Father Christmas we all know.
But given the harmful impact of overconsumption, how might we imagine a career change for our favourite, merry yuletide figure for the 21st century?
1. Santa Kondo
Santa retrains as a decluttering expert. After all, even Ikea’s former chief sustainability officer Steve Howard suggested we’re approaching “peak stuff” in the west. So when Santa visits, he now offers a kind of life coaching session where you all sit down and go through your toy bank (children and adults alike – he doesn’t discriminate). You will lay hands on every item, take time to “wake” its spirit and then pass it reverently under the gratitude mistletoe to see whether you love it enough to make it part of your future vision for playtime. Santa Kondo will invite you to sit in a circle and mediate a family discussion on whether your excess toys and gadgets spark joy or just take up space. Always a practical man, he will then give advice on where best to donate them in your local area. (Perhaps your local Oxfam or other charity shop).
2. InstaSanta
In the spirit of sustainable fashion, Santa remodels old clothes to become a secondhand fashion influencer, demonstrating how you can make both practical and attractive new outfits and keep clothes out of landfill. Or he could also show off the funkiest garb on the market made from recycled materials. His furry-lined hat is stripped of its mink or rabbit fur (like the Queen’s) and instead Father Christmas will show you new ways with fake fur formed from orange peel fibre – which doesn’t shed microfibres in the tumble dryer and makes your whole body smell of seasonal satsumas.
3. Santasgrotto.vr
After a long summer of napping, Santa is truly “woke”. Planes aren’t the only ecologically devastating way to travel: Father Christmas knows full well that a herd of reindeer emit enough methane to contribute significantly to global greenhouse gas emissions on his round-the-world annual trip. So he chucks out his sleigh, buys some space in the digital cloud, and becomes a purveyor of online and virtual reality content and experiences. You can give him your present wishes via FaceTime , while he deploys a chatbot S-elf to manage his new, 24-hour social media message response service. He, of course, has historical gift data on everyone, so his artificial intelligence service knows the best present for you before you know it yourself. Meanwhile, his virtual present shelves are stacked with a streaming service of remote content: heartwarming family films, a neverending loop of Christmas tunes, and inspiring virtual reality experiences.
4. SElfless
Father Christmas is a modern, entrepreneurial fella and so are his elves. Drawing inspiration from global efforts to clean up the ocean, he invents a fish-friendly vacuum cleaner to suck up ocean microplastics that reach the north pole. His force of helping hands is now gainfully employed sorting and recycling these plastics into a full range of SElfless products, sent out via a rather slow, solar-powered shipping service. After all, he has a whole year to reach you.
5. Sack it off
A jute sack might be humble and eco-friendly, but modern Santa just doesn’t need that much space. Glittery wrapping paper is impossible to recycle, so Santa replaces the bulk with a modern manbag stocked with recyclable gift vouchers and travel tickets, such as a holiday-of-a-lifetime where you travel to a beach, and clean it.
6. Santa Cause
Santa could become an advocate for gifts that have a more lasting impact. To help you make charitable donations in lieu of traditional gifts, Santa Cause will talk you through the options for one-off or regular gifts, help you edit your direct debit donations and make sure that tax relief can be claimed on it all, too. Alternatively there are presents that blend both gifting and donating – for instance, the Oxfam Unwrapped range of gift cards, which includes support for women entrepreneurs in starting a business and becoming financially independent.
For inspiration on gifts that don’t hurt the planet and the people in it, visit the Oxfam Christmas gift guide
