Fittingly, it’s the sultriest day in London when I collect Harry Styles’ vibrator. There’s something… in the air.
Friends tell me their phones are blowing up with long-forgotten lovers, and there’s a certain glazed look in the eyes of most people I pass.
Maybe it’s because it’s almost the end of summer, the fear of itchy jumpers looms ahead, and we are all looking to touch our sunshine-warmed flesh on someone else's, before it gets too frosty and cold. Unfortunately for me (and, if I’m being arrogant, also for him), Harry Styles will not be that person.
Instead, I have the next best thing: The Pleasing Double-Sided Vibrator.
Pleasing, Styles’ lifestyle brand, launched in 2021 and has, so far, released fragrances, nail polishes and other beauty products alongside clothing. This is the first product as part of his Pleasing Yourself range (there’s a lube too), designed in partnership with sex educator Zoë Ligon.
The range has been a sell-out and, as someone who has worked for Cosmopolitan UK for the past nine years, I’ve seen it all when it comes to all things sex. So naturally, I was intrigued to see whether it was worth getting my hands on. Does the sex symbol's creation measure up to expectations?
Styles is now known for being an international sex symbol (and excellent singer; I’m not solely objectifying him), and that’s partly down to how at one he seems with himself sexually. There’s just something about him that says he knows what he wants in bed, and he also knows how to deliver it.
Is this just a fantasy on my part, or can his vibrator prove that I am, in some ways, bang on the money? Has Styles designed something that could be close to what he could deliver with his own hands? There was only one way to find out…
The Pleasing Double-Sided Vibrator key specs
- Size: L185mm x 45mm (diameter at widest point) x 32.5mm(diameter at slimmest point)
- Material: Silicone, ABS (hard plastic)
- Function: 7 frequencies, dual motor
- Battery: USB charging 3.7V Li-ion battery
- Charging/running time: 180 min. / 60 min
- Waterproof level: IPX6 (water resistant, but do not submerge)
- Weight: 133g
Many of the other Pleasing products have a similar shape and design. The vibrator is essentially a sphere (similar to the lids on his nail polishes and perfume) and a handle, in maroon and pink.
I don’t often think that vibrators can be chic, but this one proves me wrong. I would love to know, though, what came first? Did Styles design the beauty bottles to resemble a sex toy, or did he look at his previous designs and feel so turned on by them that he decided to saucily replicate them?
“Had Pleasing’s toy been around during the height of 1D’s mega-fame, it might have saved the NHS some money”
Features
I have it on good authority that during the height of One Direction’s mega-fame, A&E units frequently had to deal with people needing the heads of the 1D dolls removed from, er, places no innocent doll should see. Who knows, had Pleasing’s toy been around then, it might have saved the NHS some money. It’s a multi-use gadget, designed to be inclusive for all.
The rounded head is for external stimulation wherever it feels good (for me, that’s my nipples and clitoris), while the handle doubles as an insertable vibrator. This is intended for vaginal use only, but please, don’t use that as an excuse to go back to the dolls. It’s just not safe.
Performance
I’d like to start a petition for all sex toys to come ready-to-use. The toy didn’t arrive charged, disappointingly. I had to sit patiently, with a wine, in my hotel bar, waiting for it to power up. Now, bear in mind this is a sex toy that already has a pretty sizeable waiting list. I’ve been very patient, Harry! Reward me!
Though, saying that, it did. The vibrations were really very powerful, and the silicone felt soft, and well, pleasing against my skin. There are two buttons, easily operated with one hand, which trigger the vibrations; simply press and hold them to increase the intensity (there are seven speeds to go through). There are also two motors, so you can have both the head and the handle vibrating at once, or choose which you’d prefer.
I struggled to turn it off (you press both buttons down, which I’d have known had I read the instructions… but then, who reads instructions for vibrators?), and it is fairly loud. You couldn’t get away with a sneaky session, but you could invite someone else to enjoy it with you, as it can be used in so many ways.
In a baffling decision, the Pleasing Lube is silicon-based, as is the toy. This combination is generally incompatible. This vibrator should only be used with a water-based lube.
Cost - is it worth the price?
Look, it’s £68, which isn’t… terrible. I like that it doesn’t look too much like a vibrator, and it’s probably most similar to a vibrating massage wand, which retails at around the same price.
A similar design-led product from Japanese brand iroha, who produce the prettiest sex toys, would be around the same price mark, but essentially, these don’t come with a waiting list.
In short? The next best thing to the man himself.
While we wait for the sold-out toy’s stocks to be replenished, we’ve rounded up the best toys worth a peek below.
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Womanizer X Lovehoney Pro40 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator
There isn't a woman alive who doesn't need this award-winning clitoral vibrator in her bedside drawer. Thoughts are clearer, spirits are raised, and life, in general, is sweeter when you've got a fully charged Womanizer in your hand.
Using the power of suction, the Womanizer creates orgasmic pulsing stimulation using Pleasure Air Technology, which won't leave you numb, but may render you momentarily blind for a few seconds after its use (in a good way). There are six-speed levels to discover (newbies: start slow and work your way up) and it's waterproof too, so you can take it into the shower or bath for more fun than you've ever had in the tub.
A cult bedroom toy adored by the likes of Lily Allen and countless satisfied customers, we can vouch that it's on the list of items that we'd run, without hesitation, into a burning building to save.
There are many pretenders in the market, but this is the OG. Buy one for yourself, and every woman you know. The world will be a much happier place.
Buy now £99.99, Lovehoney
Womanizer Next Clitoral Suction Stimulator
If the Womanizer has one flaw, it's the racket it makes when you're trying to get to a good place. Not so much an issue if you live alone, but it can be off-putting when you're in bed with a partner or away from home. After listening closely to customer feedback, Womanizer's next generation of vibrators is here - and just in time to celebrate the brand's 10th anniversary, too.
Womanizer Next boasts 14 levels of intensity (with speed as well as depth on the menu), is equipped with a Climax Control feature, and has improved its suction stimulator to help you hit the big O quicker. An Afterglow feature keeps the good vibes going after you've finished without causing pain by overstimulation.
Like its predecessor, Next is rechargeable and waterproof. Yet unlike the OG, it makes no sound whatsoever. Zip, nada. The sweet silence makes relaxing all the easier.
Is it the sex toy to end all sex toys? While it does make vast improvements on a legendary product, the nozzle has lost its length, and to its detriment. Still, for the silence it delivers, it's golden.
Available in mint, black and purple.
Buy now £189.99, Lovehoney
LELO 8 Function G-Spot Massager - GIGI 2
“I bought this vibrator a month ago and have fallen in love with it” and “Never disappointed with any of our purchases from LELO, the GG 2 is perfectly designed especially with the broad head” are just two standout reviews from past customers on this gizmo.
Made from smooth, easy-clean silicone, the sculpted curved design offers a perfect fit for a range of people and there are eight powerful vibration settings to work your way through. It’s even waterproof to a depth of one metre, giving you more playtime options.
USB charged and comes with a one-year warranty and 10-year quality guarantee for total peace of mind.
Buy now £82.00, Amazon
Ann Summers G-Spot Oscilating Rampant Rabbit
The Rabbit is probably the best-known vibrator, shaped like the sweet, fuzzy animal from which it takes its name and propelled to pop culture stardom when it was namechecked in one episode of Sex and the City.
Made in 1983 by Vibratex, the vibrators were designed like bunnies in order to bypass Japan's obscenity laws (they made beaver, kangaroo and turtle-shaped devices too, which sadly, weren’t as popular) and were the trailblazers in bringing internal and external components to sex toys.
It has remained a bedside favourite thanks to its multi-tasking abilities (the rabbit ears for clitoral stimulation while the shaft aims for the G-spot) and there have been several offspring since the original Rabbit Pearl, which had a rotating bead section, to this Rampant Rabbit, initially made for an Ann Summers party.
Buy now £33.60, Amazon
Wireless Wand Massager by Oliver James
Modelled on Hitachi's original wand massager, this device stays true to the script in that it's marketed as a 'portable sports neck massager'. However, the reviews tell quite a different story: "Got the wife screaming like a banshee. Exactly what I wanted it for. Top banana!" was one short but sweet piece of feedback, while another revealed, "She’s fallen in love with this pink wand and has kicked me out, moved the wand in and they’re now living their best life."
Charging is via USB and noise-wise, it sounds like a razor - not super loud, but certainly noticeable. Something to keep in mind if you don’t live alone.
Not only does this baby offer 20 vibration patterns and eight speeds but it has a memory function too, which means a repeat performance is just a click away. What's not to love?
Buy now £19.99, Amazon
