There are so many traditions each year on Thanksgiving: getting stuck in a traffic jam that would give even the Dalai Lama road rage, eating so much turkey you pass out with your hand in your pants, and arguing with your drunk uncle about the future of democracy in America. But there is one recent tradition that requires you to do absolutely nothing and won’t have any negative results: Thanksgiving TV.
Most of our favorite series are on break until everyone is back to work, so we have a variety of specials and marathons to keep us occupied through Black Friday and until Cyber Monday. Here are the best and the brightest to keep you engaged this year.
Macy’s Day Parade (NBC, Thursday, November 26, at 9am EST)
It’s not really Thanksgiving until you see some giant balloons and the Rockettes do a kick line in Herald Square. This year the new balloons include an Angry Bird and Scrat from Ice Age. See, Thanksgiving isn’t all about selling things. (Yes, it is.)
Football (Fox at 12.30pm EST, CBS at 4.30pm EST, and NBC at 8.30pm EST)
The most American of sports on Thanksgiving Day is as patriotic as American pie and letting the air out of the balls to gain an advantage. Tune in for Eagles v Lions, Panthers v Cowboys (which the Guardian will be liveblogging), and Bears v Packers.
Broadway at the White House (TLC, Thursday at 8pm EST)
Sure, these performances don’t seem exactly to go with stuffing and cranberry sauce, but I am thankful that both Michelle Obama and musicals are in my life. Here Ms Obama hosts a group of high school students at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave for a day of workshops related to careers in theater. Hosted by Kristen Chenoweth and Matthew Morrison, the special also includes performances from a handful of current productions.
All-Star Dog Rescue Celebration (Fox, Thursday at 8pm EST)
This special, which is just a bunch of celebrities introducing America to the cutest dogs that need to be rescued, is becoming something of a holiday tradition. This year viewers will ignore Miley Cyrus, Paula Abdul, Florida Georgia Line, Scarlett Johannsen, and others while letting a bunch of pooches break their hearts.
12 Gifts of Christmas (Hallmark Channel at 8pm EST)
Did you know that, starting 1 November, Hallmark Channel airs only Christmas movies all the time? Some might call it overkill; I would call it “snow-verkill”, but also totally amazing. The channel’s latest debut is about a painter who helps a wealthy tech guy discover that the meaning of Christmas is not about expensive tech gadgets (except it really is).
Swamp People marathon (History Channel from 7am to 4pm)
Not able to return to the country to engage in the strange rituals and experience the confusing accents of your own family? Well, let the crew on Swamp People be a stand in for you. Nothing says Thanksgiving like gator meat!
Friends Thanksgiving episode marathon (TBS, from 10am to 4pm)
Friends is one of the few sitcoms known for celebrating the pilgrims’ favorite holiday every year, and this is a compilation of all of those episodes, including the one starring Brad Pitt, then Mr Aniston. Even if your family and friends have abandoned you, Friends will be there for you (when the rain starts to pour).
Modern Family marathon (USA from 4pm to 1am EST)
In the Pritchett family, the turkey says squabble, squabble, squabble, but they always make up after 30 minutes. After a day with your family, you might need that reassurance.
The Simpsons marathon (FXX from 4pm to 10pm)
After the weeks-long marathon celebrating this show’s endless amount of time on the air last year, these eight hours will feel like a diet on this great day of gluttony. At least all the episodes are holiday-themed.
The Man in the High Castle (Amazon Prime, all episodes currently streaming)
Sure, it’s not new for Thanksgiving, but now is the ideal time to gorge on this new series about what might have happened if the Nazis had won the second world war. It might even give you something to talk to your grandfather about at dinner.
