Going up
Off-the-shoulder top + bun + hoop earrings See: Kate Moss at Cannes in 1998, in a feathered black dress, accessorised by Johnny Depp.
Dertbag hoodie The psychedelic-ish, old-school hip-hop inspired label that Kanye West has been seen wearing. If it’s good enough for Yeezy, it’s good enough for us.
Ilona Royce Smithkin The 95-year-old star of the new Advanced Style, who does good coloured eyeliner. See also Tilda in A Bigger Splash.
Velour is the summer answer to velvet Post-basic thanks to a collaboration between Adidas and Palace.
Mismatched shoes Maybe it’s time to do a Zayn, a good way to hedge your bets.
‘Arrow straight’ Levi’s Because you don’t have the Vetements jeans and you can’t find the right old 501s.
Going down
The 8pm Itsu rush The food is half price and it’s like the looting scene at a mall before a zombie attack.
Rihanna x Dior sunglasses Surely these are too Lt Geordi La Forge-like to work in real life.
Oscar Isaac not dancing After the excellent @oscardances Twitter parody account, we can’t bear to watch a film in which Mr Isaac doesn’t do a choreographed routine.
Camille Khloé Kardashian’s name for her camel toe. TMI, Khloé and also, ew. Let’s hope she doesn’t have her own spinoff show...
Thom Yorke’s hair A man bun? We thought you were better than that.
Pillow Hair The new Big Hair. See Daria and Madonna.
