Comedy is simple. Just give an egghead a tinkle, get them to waddle over to play some bebop on a twerp’s ass, and you’ve got yourself a laugh riot. Psychologists at the University of Warwick recently asked 800 people to rate 5,000 word on which were the most inherently comic. They include the aforementioned “waddle”, “bebop”, “twerp”, “ass”, “tinkle” and “egghead” (imagine, a man with an egg for a head!). Less predictably, it turns out that men and women find different words funny: “buzzard” and “czar” make the male charts, as do sex words such as “orgy” and “bondage”. Women – those demure little puddings – prefer “giggle” or “sweat”. If those are the words that make us puncture lumbar regions with guffaws, what about their opposites: those words that make the heart sink? Well, we can think of a few.
Dunkirk Hot take incoming. Could it be Brexit-themed?
Bae Definition of the sort of neologism you probably should have looked up by now, but somehow could never be arsed. You secretly suspect that even if you did, the meaning would simply glide past the eyes in a seizure of inanity.
Gamification The new “new paradigm”, can be hosed over just about anything techy to imply that “stuff happens”. Usage at a party indicates the speaker is about to open the bidding on a TED talk for one.
Schrödinger Salutation for the still-birth of a comedic analogy. See also: its higher-grade cousin Heisenberg Uncertainty.
Dying, dead Something 6.3 amusing has just happened on the internet.
Millennial The starting gun on the tedious inter-generational parlour game “Who is going to pay for my house?”
Brave This once involved wrestling bears but now mainly involves posting a picture of yourself looking post-baby flabby in your scants.
Woke Confusingly, still being used genuinely in some communities even though it has become such a passé piece of satire that it’s disappearing from others.
Thinkpiece Oh right, you’ve decided to think in this one?
Quirky Trans: “Didn’t really get it”.
