From AFL to NRL: how closely have you been following the footy this year?

Do you know your Panthers from your Dees? Give our quiz a whirl to find out. Composite: Guardian Design/Getty/AAP

It’s footy grand final season. The AFL one happened last weekend. The NRL title goes up for grabs on Sunday. So many leagues, so little time. So many matches across so many months. If you had been trying to follow it all, that would have been a mighty task.

But then again, if ever there were a season in which you were able to keep one eye on the screen at all times, it would have been during the rolling lockdowns and enforced solitude of 2021 in much of Australia. So let’s find out how much you retained given the general background radiation of anxiety, when perhaps a game took your mind off things for a while.

1. 

   What year did the Melbourne Demons last win a premiership?

   1. 1974

   2. 1964

   3. 1954

   4. 1944

2. Who now has the longest premiership drought in the AFL?

   1. Fremantle

   2. Gold Coast

   3. Carlton

   4. St Kilda

3. The Penrith Panthers beat the Melbourne Storm for a place in the NRL grand final while wearing what kind of jersey?

   1. Musk pink with a flavoured milk sponsor

   2. Lime green with an ice-cream sponsor

   3. Cherry red with a chapstick sponsor

   4. Jet black with a sponsor selling a fuel additive

4. Due to a game of state border Twister, the 2021 NRL and AFL grand finals were moved to which two cities respectively?

   1. Brisbane and Adelaide

   2. Brisbane and Perth

   3. Perth and Adelaide

   4. Darwin and Mackay

5. 

   Penrith will play South Sydney for the NRL title. Who would win a real fight between a panther and a rabbit?

   1. Panther

   2. Rabbit

   3. They’re not rabbits, they were the guys who sold rabbits

   4. Rugby league would be the winner

6. Let’s give rugby union a question so they don’t feel lonely. How many times did the Wallabies beat the world champion South Africans in the latest rugby championship?

   1. Once

   2. Twice

   3. Three times

   4. A lady

7. By some sort of galactic law written secretly in the stars for only umpires to read, what kind of players are allowed to win the AFL’s Brownlow medal for the season’s best?

   1. Forwards

   2. Defenders

   3. Rucks

   4. Midfielders

8. How long ago was Melbourne premiership coach Simon Goodwin under pressure for his job after an end-of-season review?

   1. 2020

   2. 2019

   3. 2018

   4. 2017

9. 

   South Sydney’s colour scheme of red and green has the team colloquially referred to as what?

   1. The Christmas Lights

   2. The Banksia Men

   3. The Wild Boronia Boys

   4. The Coachwood and Myrtle

10. Penrith forward Scott Sorensen was quoted 10 weeks with a wrist injury in round 25. How many weeks did he miss before returning for a premiership tilt?

    1. One

    2. Two

    3. Three

    4. Four

Solutions

1:B - The Beatles reached No 1 in the US, Martin Luther King won the Nobel peace prize, Robert Menzies won another Australian election and coach Norm Smith combined with captain Ron Barassi to win the Demons their sixth flag in 10 seasons. Melbourne’s future was bright!, 2:D - One flag, by one point, in 124 years. Now that the Demons, Bulldogs, Swans, Cats and Tigers have all won in the past decade, the Saints are the last current members of the Hard Luck Club., 3:A - Everyone knows it: a hard-earned thirst needs a big cold half-litre of milk, with a little something extra to jazz the tastebuds., 4:B - Two Sydney teams in Queensland, two Melbourne teams in the west. A small victory for Victorians and New South Wales folk for convincing the other states to let a few of them in., 5:B - You may think this is obvious, but the cunning rabbit would distract the panther by feeding it a huge range of different flavours of grilled cheese sandwiches, until the panther collapsed with a corresponding rabbit-induced ailment. What’s it called? Mixing my toasties., 6:B - Under the format, each of the four teams plays one another twice, unless one of those teams gets half of its players stuck in the wrong state after an illegal road trip to Byron Bay. We haven’t seen history’s most convincing version of the Wallabies – but they knocked over the champs in straight sets. , 7:D - Sure, you can be a forward who kicks all the goals that actually win games, or a defender who prevents goals while also creatively setting up attacks from the backline, but 30 stats in the centre = three votes, that’s the exchange rate. Just the way it is, sorry buddy (and sorry, Buddy)., 8:A - Look, 2020 was a weird year for all of us. Or to look at it another way, 2020 has never ended and we’re in an infinite time loop. So let’s not worry about the details., 9:D - By law, a Guardian sport quiz must contain at least one (1) reference to Roy and HG. In this case, their poetic description of the colours of the rabbit sellers. , 10:B - A fortnight with his hand on ice seems to have done the trick. After being unsigned at the start of the season, and several unsuccessful stints at other clubs, Sorensen would be one of the feelgood stories if the decider breaks his way.

Scores

1. 10 and above.

   Congratulaces. Your head is a perfect ovoid, smooth and hairless and thirsting for the boot.

2. 9 and above.

   Congratulaces. Your head is a perfect ovoid, smooth and hairless and thirsting for the boot.

3. 8 and above.

   You are Christian Petracca. You do know a lot about football but you’ve probably been a bit too busy lately to take in everything.

4. 7 and above.

   You are Christian Petracca. You do know a lot about football but you’ve probably been a bit too busy lately to take in everything.

5. 6 and above.

   You are Christian Petracca. You do know a lot about football but you’ve probably been a bit too busy lately to take in everything.

6. 5 and above.

   There is do, and there is not do. There is no try. Because we have sent it to The Bunker and have received a ruling on the matter.

7. 4 and above.

   There is do, and there is not do. There is no try. Because we have sent it to The Bunker and have received a ruling on the matter.

8. 3 and above.

   This is not your field. And that’s OK, you have loftier interests. Time instead to ceaselessly inform all those around you that sport is bad, actually.

9. 2 and above.

   This is not your field. And that’s OK, you have loftier interests. Time instead to ceaselessly inform all those around you that sport is bad, actually.

10. 0 and above.

    This is not your field. And that’s OK, you have loftier interests. Time instead to ceaselessly inform all those around you that sport is bad, actually.

11. 1 and above.

    This is not your field. And that’s OK, you have loftier interests. Time instead to ceaselessly inform all those around you that sport is bad, actually.