Some things are inevitable. Two forces of nature so perfect for each other that they are destined to be joined as one and make the world a more complete place. Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro. Morrissey and Johnny Marr. Gemma Atkinson and Marcus Bent. Now add to that football's most perfect club and player match-up since Sam Allardyce noticed Kevin Davies was looking for first-team football.
Yes, Thierry Henry is off to Newcastle this summer for £15m (surely we could see this one coming a mile off?). The attack-obsessed coach, the fans that love a striking star (however past his best he may be) and the player that just loves to be adored. We can only wonder how it took so long for them to all find each other. Of course they might deny it on popular lunchtime football magazine shows tomorrow, but we all know they will end up together. Forever.
Sadly, not all the rumours are as perfect as this. Real Madrid's £18m move for Didier Drogba has a bland inevitability about it, while Inter's confirmation that they want Alexander Hleb is becoming as annoyingly repetitious as the chorus to 2 Unlimited's No Limits. But don't despair, Rafael Benítez has been given a big pot of money to spend by Tom Hicks and he has a lot of names on his shopping list. Surely one of them will provide some excitement.
So, let's see. There's Gareth Barry to start us off of course, then there is Wigan's Antonio Valencia. No3 on the list is Athletic Bilbao's Fernando Amorebieta (no, we haven't either) and finally it's Espanyol winger Albert Riera. Oh. Well, that wasn't quite the fun we'd hoped for, another fourth place it is for Liverpool next year.
Or is it? For Martin O'Neill and Aston Villa are coming to get them with an £80m summer transfer kitty. And who will they buy with that? Why it's Peter Crouch, Steve Sidwell and Portugal under-21 international Nelson. Fourth place it is for Liverpool next year then. Still, at least Newcastle might provide some excitement for us.
