TFI Friday
8pm, Channel 4
Following the one-off special from June – seemingly being used as Chris Evans’s public audition for the Top Gear gig – a brand-new series of the Britpop-era entertainment show arrives on our screens. While surely a world away from the buttoned-down cosiness of Evans’s Friday One Shows, it remains to be seen whether a programme hosted by a now-Radio 2 DJ turned Top Gear host will seem as cutting-edge as the 90s-vintage TFI did. Just don’t mention Evans’s previous “comeback” for the format, ITV vehicle OFI Sunday. Mark Gibbings-Jones
Murder at the Vatican?
8pm, Channel 5
The cheerfully salacious documentary strand continues, focusing on historical scandals that have shadowed the Catholic church. Did it help relocate Croatian fascists after the second world war? Was Pope John Paul I the victim of an assassination plot formulated by his peers? And was banker Roberto Calvi, found strung up under Blackfriars bridge in London in 1982, the victim of a Mafia hit sanctioned by Vatican power brokers? These questions are reiterated, and the crimes amateurishly reconstructed. Graeme Virtue
Humble Pie
8pm, Watch
Marco Pierre White and Melanie Sykes present this new cookery show that’s the lovechild of MasterChef and Late Night Poker. Four amateur chefs compete for £2,500, and if they think they’ve cooked the worst dish they can either eliminate themselves from the judging process or persuade their rivals to bow out. One makes spaghetti instead of tagliatelle, while burnt meringues are hastily hidden beneath whipped cream. Their attempts to derail each other are about as good as their cooking, so it’s quite funny. Hannah Verdier
Great Continental Railway Journeys
9pm, BBC2
Armed only with his Bradshaw’s Continental Railway Guide from 1913 and a small suitcase containing his sandwiches (this is a guess), Michael Portillo begins a fourth series of his big free holiday on a train. Today, he follows the old Orient Express route, which traverses the Balkans from Sofia, Bulgaria, to Istanbul. He takes part in perfume manufacture, closely observes some sexy oiled-up wrestling and gets to actually drive a train himself. Sorry, Mrs Portillo, but Michael’s never coming home. Julia Raeside
Piers Morgan’s Life Stories
9pm, ITV
There’s the occasional curveball in Piers Morgan’s interview show – John Lydon brought a frisson of, if not danger, then at least of unrehearsed thought – but for the most part, we’re dealing with accomplished celebrity raconteurs. Actor Warwick Davis is just such a professional, but his experiences as a little person offer a lesser-heard perspective on life as a TV and movie star. Davis talks about professional and personal challenges he has faced, as well as his work with Jennifer Aniston, Val Kilmer and Ricky Gervais. John Robinson
The Returned
9pm, More4
“Don’t worry. The child is doing well.” Normally, these would be welcome words when delivered in a medical setting. Except this is the world of the French slow-burn zombie drama, back for a second season set six months on from the first, and angular Adèle’s baby is of scary provenance. Elsewhere, an expert has been called in to investigate the causes of the flood, which hasn’t entirely subsided. As previously, an atmospheric exploration of the idea that the dead may retain a hold on the living. Jonathan Wright
Music for Misfits: The Story of Indie
10pm, BBC4
The chimerical, catch-all term “indie” – like “cool” and (especially) “cult” – is very good for business. And never more so than in the 90s, when, with authentically independent distributors struggling in the wake of acid house, the commercially savvy major labels offered consumers a smartly packaged notion of indiedom christened “Britpop”. In this final part, Mark Radcliffe explores indie’s semantic transition from “means of production” to “ethos and attitude”. Ali Catterall
Film choices
The Theory of Everything (James Marsh, 2014) 3.45pm, 8pm, Sky Movies Premiere
It’s a clever trick of James Marsh to take the troubled marriage of the world’s greatest boffin, Stephen Hawking, and his wife Jane and contrast it with the workings of his mighty mind and the quest for a theory of the universe and everything. The result is a charming portrait of a man overcoming the physical limitations of his MND, with beautiful performances from Eddie Redmayne and Felicity Jones. Paul Howlett
Quantum Of Solace (Marc Forster, 2008) 10.40pm, ITV
Agent 007 has the hump. Daniel Craig’s desire to avenge the death of Casino Royale’s Vesper Lynd makes him more lethal than ever in pursuit of the obligatory villain, Dominic Greene (Mathieu Amalric), who plans to corner the market in … water? An action-crammed assignment that would make Jason Bourne blanch. PH
Today’s best live sport
Test Cricket: Pakistan v England Coverage of the fourth day’s play in the First Test at the Sheikh Zayed Stadium in Abu Dhabi. 6.30am, Sky Sports 2
Championship Football: Bristol City v Nottingham Forest All the action from Ashton Gate as struggling City search for a home win. 7pm, Sky Sports 1
World Wheelchair Rugby Challenge The competition reaches its climax. The bronze medal match is up first, followed at 7.45pm by the final. 5pm, ITV4
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