Written By Mrs Bach
8pm, BBC4
It is recognised that Johann Sebastian Bach composed his greatest works after meeting his second wife, singer Anna Magdalena Wilcke. In this film, musicologist Martin Jarvis, composer Sally Beamish and forensic scientist Heidi Harralson explore the theory that Mrs Bach’s influence may have extended beyond service as a muse and stenographer. This has been a crusade for Jarvis for many years, and has been just as persistently rubbished by many. Still, he remains endearingly undaunted. Also featuring silly reconstructions. Andrew Mueller
One Way Astronaut
8pm, Eden
One person’s crank is another person’s adventurer, so it’s probably prudent to say that this documentary follows Bas Lansdorp and the adventurers of Mars One – his privately funded mission to colonise Mars, never to return. All the potential astronauts are deeply – sometimes eerily – committed to the project, and their stories are often touching. Still, there’s no guessing the effect that the enormity of their undertaking will have on them, or indeed if Lansdorp is simply a crazy dreamer. John Robinson
Bear Grylls: Mission Survive
9pm, ITV
Last-but-one leg of Grylls’s celebrity backed sojourn in the wilderness, and the remaining celebrities are left to sift through fruit-shaped flotsam in the forest, separating nutritious treats from their poisonous counterparts. A bit like an extreme, high-stakes version of chick sexing (that’s in the sense of poultry gender differentiation, rather than the Dapper Laughs variety, you understand). Following a fitful night’s slumber, the most hazardous challenge yet awaits: crossing a ravine using just a single rope. Mark Jones
NCIS: New Orleans
9pm, Channel 5
“Who hires a personal trainer in New Orleans? All you people do around here is sweat.” Hill Street Blues veteran Joe Spano has been a recurring guest star on the original NCIS for more than a decade, and tonight his cranky FBI man turns up in the Big Easy. Agent Fornell is nominally in town to help Dwayne Pride (Scott Bakula) and his local squad untangle the mysterious death of a former Gitoo interrogator. But Spano’s presence also serves to reassure fans that this second NCIS spinoff is the real deal. Graeme Virtue
Alan Carr: Chatty Man
10pm, Channel 4
The irrepressible Alan Carr returns for a 14th series of his charmingly goofy chat show tonight, in which his guests reveal just as much about themselves by the way they react to his Bombay mix and WKD-style of hospitality as from any of the comic’s proper questions. On the sofa and partaking in Carr’s eccentrically stocked drinks trolley will be The Voice judges – Will.i.am, Ricky Wilson, Tom Jones and the madcap Rita Ora – joined by Antonio Banderas and Danny Dyer. Ella Henderson provides the music. Rachel Aroesti
Dexys: Nowhere Is Home
10pm, BBC4
In spring 2013, Kevin Rowland and a newly truncated Dexys secured a nine-night residency at London’s Duke Of York’s Theatre. Here’s the film of that show, as passionate, honest and uncompromising (note: this concert includes no Eileens) as you’d expect. This is soul as theatre: a literal staging of 2012 album One Day I’m Going To Soar, plus classics: notably a climactic This Is What She’s Like, during which Rowland dangles from the balcony, repeatedly intoning, “This is our stuff.” What good stuff it is. Ali Catterall
Police Squad!
10pm, GOLD
“I’m a locksmith. And, I’m a locksmith.” If you don’t know why this is one of the funniest lines ever uttered then watch this. Precursor to the Naked Gun films, this 1982 cop procedural parody is a dazzling array of sight gags and wordplay delivered with relentless solemnity by a cast led by Leslie Nielsen as Frank Drebin, and regulars such as Tall Al and the know-all shoeshine guy. It was cancelled after one series. “Viewers had to watch it to appreciate it,” explained the ABC president, a line worthy of the show itself. David Stubbs
Today’s best live sport
PGA tour golf The Arnold Palmer Invitational tournament from the Bay Hill Club in Florida. 6pm, Sky Sports 4
Football League Wolverhampton Wanderers v Derby County – a crucial promotion battle from the Championship. 7.30pm, Sky Sports 1
Rugby League Super League Leeds Rhinos v Wigan Warriors – all the action from Headingley. 7.30pm, Skly Sports 3
World Cup cricket New Zealand v West Indies – the final quarter-final, from Wellington. 12.30am, Sky Sports World Cup
