Frankie Bridge has opened up about her "severe depressive illness" that left her admitted to a psychiatric hospital.
The 31-year-old former Strictly star and singer with The Saturdays has detailed her lifelong battle with anxiety and depression in her new bombshell memoir.
When she was 23, Frankie was already a veteran of the pop scene after being with S Club Juniors since the age of 12 before moving on to The Saturdays.
Speaking to Mail Online, Frankie said that she was "rich and famous" but also "profoundly unhappy" and was about to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital.
Speaking out about the feeling of depression, Frankie likened it to "the sensation of drowning by taking a shower."
It has been a life-long illness for Frankie, who wrote: "For as long as I can remember I had suffered from anxiety, nervousness, the big black cloud, stress, low moods, sadness."
It was a feeling that she kept secret and Frankie admitted: "I lived with it in silence and tried to conquer it alone."
Her early 20s was a time when she required medical help on various occasions and six months before being admitted to a psychiatric unit, Frankie had seen "two therapists and tried three different anti-depressants — Prozac, venlafaxine and sertraline."
The moment that she hit rock bottom, Frankie said that she was having "uncontrollable panic attacks and paralysing negative thoughts about anything and everything."
The singer continued to list the issues she was facing: "I had trouble sleeping, lacked energy and had lost my appetite and my libido.
"I couldn’t do anything without help and was unable to function in everyday life. Fundamentally, I couldn’t see the point of living any more."
Frankie admits she was 'ashamed' to tell her parents and sister Victoria about what she was going through as she believed that they thought she had a "beautiful life" and she didn't want to bemoan all that she had.
After being admitted to hospital, Frankie recalls that "doctors put me on new medication — venlafaxine, clonazepam and diphenhydramine sleeping tablets in such high doses my first few days in hospital are a blur."
At that time, she spent most days asleep but Frankie said "that was fine" as it was "a relief to silence my mind so it could just switch off."
Once her sleep was under control, Frankie said that she had stopped crying and started to integrate with the other patients at the private hospital.
She said that she has tried more than ten different forms of antidepressant, anti-anxiety meds and tranquillisers.
Frankie continues to "spend hours of my life in therapy because I believe the two should always go hand in hand."
Despite numerous side effects, Frankie says that she takes the medication as it "stops me having another mental breakdown and ending up back in hospital."
Frankie admits: "This is what it is like living with a mental illness. It can hit anyone at any time, regardless of who they are, what they have, or whether they are strong or weak characters."
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