Diane von Fürstenberg’s husband, Fox billionaire Barry Diller, 83, has spoken about his relationships with men for the first time.
In an excerpt from his memoir, Who Knew, published by New York Magazine on Tuesday, the co-founder of Fox Broadcasting Company opened up about his 50-year relationship with the fashion designer, 78, and being afraid to disclose his interest in men.
“I have never questioned my sexuality’s basic authority over my life (I was only afraid of the reaction of others),” he started. “And when my romance with Diane began, I never questioned that its biological imperative was as strong in its heterosexuality as its opposite had been. When it happened, my initial response was, ‘Who knew?’”
Diller, who tied the knot with von Fürstenberg in 2001, continued: “I’m well aware that this part of my life has caused confusion and lots of speculation.”
The film producer went on to detail when his interest in men began and how it developed as he entered his 20s.
“I had found ways to find men — starting with my teenage years street cruising in West Hollywood, darting in and out of side doors of bars along Melrose Avenue,” he said. “The subterfuge continued into my 20s, save one Fourth of July weekend when a guy I had met invited me to join him on Fire Island. I wasn’t prepared for a place that was all guys, all the time.
“I had so much early career success you might have thought I’d conquered what I saw as the biggest danger in my developing life. I’d conquered other phobias, but fear of exposure still had a tyrannical hold on me, so much so that it stunted any chance of my having a fulfilling personal life.”
Diller said he attempted to “separate” himself from the pain and fear by simply “locking” his truth away.
“Compartmentalizing these unwanted feelings became so successful that it has both ruled and riled my life ever since,” he said of his sexuality. “Even though as the years went on I began to be realistic and understood that ‘everyone knows,’ I never wanted to make any declarations.”
Instead of coming out to everyone in his life, Diller said he decided to set rules for himself in order to convince others he wasn’t interested in men.
“I would live with silence, but not with hypocrisy,” one rule read, while another stated: “I would never bring a man as a date to a heterosexual event — not that there were many guys I was serious enough about to bring — but I’d never bring a woman as a ‘beard,’ either.”
“I recognize it now as the opposite of courage,” he said of these rules.
Diller explained that he hid his relationship with von Fürstenberg from the public at the start because he couldn’t define it for them. Instead, he let the world find out on their own, which inevitably came as von Fürstenberg launched her eponymous fashion line, which propelled the popularity of wrap dresses and solidified them as a sartorial statement of power for women.
According to Diller, it was hard for him to open up and express his feelings for von Fürstenberg when they first were together.
“Why was I so emotionally unprepared for intimacy?” he questioned.
“I didn’t just want her, I needed her,” he said of his wife. “And that banged hard into my built-up self-protections.”
Diller continued: “I’ve lived for decades reading about Diane and me: about us being best friends rather than lovers. We weren’t just friends. We aren’t just friends. Plain and simple, it was an explosion of passion that kept up for years.
“And, yes, I also liked guys, but that was not a conflict with my love for Diane,” he finished.
Though Diller and von Fürstenberg have been together for just about five decades, the two do not share kids together. The fashion mogul, however, has two children — Prince Alexander, 55 and Tatiana, 54 — with her first husband Prince Egon von Fürstenberg.
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