Gardai recently reported a 25% rise in domestic violence calls during the pandemic – with 8,229 contacts logged from January to May 25.
And more than 100 people were charged with domestic violence-related offences during the last two weeks of May.
Monica Walsh, a former Mrs Universe Ireland, is a domestic violence campaigner who sadly lost her own godmother Halina Cegla, 35, who died after being abused.
The Blanchardstown resident said the sudden death of her aunt, a mother of two young children, had a profound and traumatic impact on her.
Monica said: "As a domestic violence campaigner and having witnessed it myself one thing I will say is if you’re wondering if you’re being abused in a relationship, there’s a good chance that you are.
"In a happy relationship you don’t have any doubts.Anyone can be an abuser and a person who engages in domestic abuse or domestic violence can be a lawyer or unemployed.
"However, research and my own experience shows that abusers are likely to have some common characteristics.
In general, some of the characteristics shared by abusers include warning signs such as:
1. Excessive jealousy and constantly checking in with you or making you check in with him or her.
2. Attempts to isolate you from friends and family.
3. They are too serious about the relationship too quickly and have had a lot of bad prior relationships - and blame all of the problems on the previous partners.
4. He/she is very controlling. This may include giving you orders, telling you what to wear, and trying to make all of the decisions for you.
5. Blames you when he or she treats you badly by telling you all of the ways you provoked him or her.
6. Does not take responsibility for his/her own actions and has an explosive temper.
7. Pressures you into sexual activity which you are not comfortable with.8. Has a history of fighting or hurting animals or they may brag about mistreating other people.
9. You worry about how your partner will react to the things you say or you are afraid of provoking your partner.
10. They refuse to let you end the relationship.
What can you do if you notice these signs in your relationship?
First of all: 1. Trust your intuition. If you believe there may be a problem in your relationship, you are probably right.
2. Do not ignore the warning signs as it gets worse over time, not better.
3. Stay in touch with your friends.
"There is one last very important sign to watch out for: If it doesn’t just upset you to argue with your partner, it scares you.
"This is a big missed sign for a lot of domestic violence victims. If you’re spending the majority of your relationship feeling guilty.
"And if you spend your days in fear of how your partner is going to react to the world around them, you aren’t in a place where you feel safe with your partner.
"It can be difficult sometimes to admit you are being abused because the person hurting you doesn’t always act this way – sometimes they may be loving and kind.You are the only one who can change your situation by leaving, running away and escaping somewhere safe before it’s too late."
Former social protection minister Regina Doherty announced changes two weeks ago to make Rent Supplement available more easily to victims of domestic violence.
Monica said this move is a huge support to women and men in abusive relationships.
Monica’s new book ‘Take Me Out Of This Hell’ will be published later this year.
The Women’s Aid 24-hour National Freephone Helpline number is 1800 341 900, while Safe Ireland can be contacted on 1800 341 900.
