Look, we’ve all pretended to be Taylor Swift at some point, right? After all, who amongst us can resist the temptation to don a cheerleader outfit, grab some blue and yellow pompoms, and work through the full dance routine to “Shake It Off” while belting out the lyrics at the top of your lungs Uh, I can’t be alone in this… Right guys.. Right…?
… well, hmm, anyway, moving on. Though Swift may be a world-straddling pop colossus with fans of every age and nationality, but even we didn’t expect former FBI director James Comey to be an open, committed, and sincere Swiftie.
— The Calvin Coolidge Project (@TheCalvinCooli1) August 17, 2025
Weird News: Former FBI Director James Comey declared himself to be a “Swiftie” and says that Taylor Swift’s music helps him to cope with the Trump Administrationpic.twitter.com/bsVTBH0SoU
In a video posted to his Substack, Comey waxed lyrical about all things Swift, saying her songs are the soundtrack to his family life and she’s a personal source of inspiration to him. Apparently, he’s a big fan of mowing the lawn while blasting out “Tay Tay”, doubtless shaking his 64-year-old booty as he does so.
Comey explained: “Taylor Swift has grown up with my family and provided us a soundtrack, really, as we’ve grown ourselves and learned and adapted and dealt with adversity and celebration.” He underlined that he particularly appreciates the way her lyrics resonate with kids in a way that feels right to him as a parent, and that he’s appreciated her musical growth.
I’ve learned the lesson that stressin’ and obsessin’ ’bout somebody else is no fun
But Comey’s Swiftie nature goes beyond simply loving her music, he also takes direct inspiration from her in dealing with Trump and MAGA “bullies”. Comey revealed that he often feels uncomfortable with people directly attacking and mocking Trump and his ilk, which, “leaves me with a strange feeling at times, because I don’t want us to become like Trump and his followers. There are far more decent, honest, kind people in America than there are mean jerks. And don’t get me wrong, we have our jerks, millions of them.”
Comey said whenever he’s considering how best to respond to an attack against him, he thinks of Swift:
“I am not an advocate for weakness. Of course, we need to stand up to jerks and defend what matters, but I think we have to try to do that without becoming like them, which is what makes me think about Taylor Swift. She’s made clear that she sees Donald Trump for what he is. Last year, she urged Americans not to make the serious mistake of electing him.”
Maybe the best response is to just refuse to let Trump into your brain: “while our elderly makeup-covered president is posting about whether Taylor Swift is still hot and declaring that he can’t stand her, what’s she doing? Living her best life, producing great music and, as she urged all of us to do during the podcast, not giving the jerks power over her mind.”
Comey went on to reference Swift’s song “Mean”, saying the lyrics give him strength in trying times: “I bet you got pushed around. Somebody made you cold. But the cycle ends right now, because you can’t leave me down that road. You’ll be glad I didn’t sing that. That’s right, because down that road of unhappiness, nobody should have that power over us.”
Hey, look, we didn’t expect that Comey would actually seriously genuinely be a full-on Swiftie, but what can we say, it’s clearly working for him. If we ever run into him in person, we’ll ask to trade friendship bracelets – hopefully he’s got one which reads “While he was doing lines/And crossing all of mine/Someone told his white collar crimes to the FBI.”
