I dread to think what the late Alan Clark - politician, philanderer, diarist, historian and snob - would make of our MPs' shopping lists, more details of which emerge each day. Clark, who dismissively described Michael Heseltine as the kind of man who bought his own furniture (those of good stock inherit, of course), would find the very concept of claiming such items of mediocrity on expenses just too vulgar to comprehend.
But they are intriguing. From John Wilkinson's drill-and-plug set to Mark Oaten's oven glove (£5 each), our MPs can't stop home-improving. Their purchases confirm the nesting and cocooning urge that is so reflective of our current economic insecurities.
Accordingly, it was not the adult movies that caught my attention on Jacqui Smith's expenses claim, but the sense of her taste in interiors. Why so many washing and drying machines (two of the former, apparently, and one of the latter)? Politics can be a mucky business, but this need to keep her clothes spick'n'span seems a little obsessive.
Similarly, the two huge tellies and antique-style fireplace brought to mind disconcerting images of The Royle Family. And the sofabed and dining-room-table combo smack of "DFS half-price sale". Not a good look.
Surely our "home" secretary should be displaying a little more taste in the interior decoration department. And at the risk of sounding xenophobic, I would hope our politicians would make more of an effort to support homegrown British design talent.
The Habitat stone kitchen sink that Smith chose is a claim in the right direction, taste-wise: well-made, modern, understated and good value. Very now. But all these MPs would have been much better off going to the likes of Established and Sons, Benchmark, Case, Matthew Hilton, Barber Osgerby, Tom Dixon, Mark Holmes (provided, of course, they paid for their purchases themselves). All are producing design classics of the future. They may be a little more expensive in the short term, but they would last a lot longer. Certainly considerably longer than Smith's term in office.
• Tony Chambers is editor-in-chief of Wallpaper
